2012 Republican Primary Debate (CNN) — After 3,345 debates so far (Google it), this one may be the last of the Republican primary season. Word is, Santorum plans to bite the head off of Romney while Gingrich cowers in the corner and cries. Ron Paul will end the debate with a dramatic mic drop, then turn into a bat and fly off stage. Burnsy/Danger 2012! (After the jump, a Santorum photo made completely from screen shots of gay porn).
Whitney/Are You There, Chelsea? (NBC) — We only have a few more weeks left to hate these two shows, as they will be pulled from NBC’s schedule to make room for Betty White’s new show in April. Hate while the hatin’ is hot, yo.
Survivor (CBS) — The “Survivor” casting department outdid itself this year, collecting the most arrogant, obnoxious douchebags in the show’s twenty-something cycles. I hate everyone so far except for the hot motorcycle mechanic lady who broke her wrist last week. It does, however, make for compelling drama if you’re into detestable people getting their comeuppance. It’s just too bad they all can’t lose.
Happy Endings (ABC) — I’ve grown weary of the other ABC Wednesday night comedies, but “Happy Endings” is still bringing it, thanks largely to Brad and Jane. Good news: Tonight’s a Brad-and-Jane centered episode, as they engage in their yearly domestic squabble.
Top Chef (Bravo) — (Season Finale) It’s going to be Paul, right? I mean, there’s not really a question, is there?
Watch What Happens Live (Bravo) — Chrissy Teigen is on tonight with her husband, some guy named John Legend. You folks can slobber all over Kate Upton all you’d like: Teigen is my Sports Illustrated swimsuit model of choice. She’s hot, and she’s smart and acerbic enough to slap your ass down. She also cooks (check out her cooking website)
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is that Ice Cream Vince Vaughn outside Chrissy’s window?
Chrissy Teigen is pretty much perfect. She is hot, Asian, funny, smart and loves to cook (and eat) great food. That is everything I have ever wanted in woman. It makes sense that she is with a guy like John Legend. They will live their perfect lives and make unbelievably beautiful and talented children.
I swear, Rick Santorum is like a Frankenstein’s Monster of every bad Republican/conservative/Christian stereotype ever.
Except Frankenstein’s Monster was smart.
If Santorum backed off that anti-Gay, Moral Majority shit for like five seconds I might actually support the guy if only because some of the guy’s tax ideas ring a lot better to me than Dr. Crazy Pants Paul’s “Hey, we don’t need to fund government or like participate in global politics, let’s smoke a bowl instead”. I like the idea of raising the dependent deduction and simplifying the tax code (although every Republican says they’re gonna do that and never fucking follows through)
Unfortunately my party can’t get a SANE fiscal conservative who doesn’t hate gays this far into the primaries anymore.
Poor Jon Huntsman
Hey don’t hate on John Legend, I’m not a huge fan of his music, but he’s friends with Stephen Colbert. A hot chick could chose a worse husband (looking at you, Christina Hendricks).
Damn straight. Anyone who can collaborate with Colbert for awesome shit like this will always be cool with me.
Warning: this song may make you either extremely horny and/or hungry.
[www.youtube.com]
Hey, Brad! Do you know who would make great couples friends with us?
Who?
Max and Grant! Durr!
Are you in my brain right now?
I might be.
O M Yes!
Dream team, baby!
Yeah, I wanna hate John Legend outta pure jealousy, but he seems cool, and DAMN is his voice smooth. Legend/Teigen 2016!
/plays “Save Room” for the 500,000th time
I don’t know who I like more, Chrissy Teigen or John Legend. I’m mostly straight too.
I actually like John Legend’s music, but I still don’t think he’s ever done anything better than this.
I’m hetro and I’d bang either, like, which ever.
I guarantee if Santorum sees that it won’t be the first time he jerks off to his own picture.
+ 3:16
“Gingrich cowers in the corner and cries.” No way!!! You damn librul!! Everybody knows he will be in the corner masturbating (arch-backing is not cowering).
Also, Teigen: what a fatty!
What the hell is that picture.
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I’m still wondering how much they’re paying you to plug ‘Happy Endings’ every week. That show is a steaming pile of ‘Whitney’ if I’ve ever seen one.