What’s On Tonight: Strippers and Fast Cars

Via CBS

How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) – This is the only show worth consistently talking about on Monday nights. So, even if you hate Ted and the Bro Code and Ted again, just remember: it’s either “How I Met” (which has been on a nice run of late, FYI), or “The Voice,” now in PART FIVE of the audition process.

Daytona 500 (Fox, 7 p.m.) – Here I was all ready to write “…” about “House,” until I read that the Daytona 500, which was rained out yesterday, will air tonight. Coincidentally, all I have to say about NASCAR is “…,” too, so check out With Leather’s interview with Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. You can win a trip to Charlotte, NC, home of my beloved Carolina Panthers. And K-Ci & JoJo! You’d be crazy-crazy-crazy not to.

In Performance at the White House (PBS, 9 p.m.) – This is the special where Obama sings “Sweet Home Chicago,” which you may have seen on The Internet last week. “Yo, Prez, sing ‘Saturday In the Park’ next!”

Bizarre Foods America (Travel, 9 p.m.) – Andrew Zimmern travels to West Virginia, to dine on “fresh deer organs, groundhog burgoo, and a road kill cook-off.” Or as West Virginia natives call it, Thanksgiving dinner. I’ll bring the rooster.

Fashion Police: The 2012 Academy Awards (E!, 10 p.m.) – I couldn’t care less about fashion, but I do want to talk about who looked pretty at the Oscars. Rooney Mara and Jessica Chastain looked pretty at the Oscars.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ed Helms on Letterman; Megan Fox and Michel Hazanavicius on Leno; Melanie Fiona on Kimmel; Eric Idle on Ferguson; Julianna Margulies, Seann William Scott, and Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band on Fallon; Kathryn Hahn, Artie Lange, and Nick DiPaolo on Conan; Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Stewart; and King Peggy on Colbert.