The Middle/Suburgatory/Modern Family/Happy Endings (ABC) – Based on nothing but the preview photos on the “Happy Endings” website, it looks like Max steals a limo and Alex (Elisha Cuthbert) gets busted for prostitution. Sheesh, ABC. That’s dark. (NOTE: All but “Modern Family” are Valentine’s Day episodes. I assume this will result in all the single viewers sitting at home in pajamas and crying into a tub of cookie dough ice cream. I’ve seen a bunch of rom-coms.)
Person to Person (CBS) – The old Edward R. Murrow interview show is getting rebooted, with tonight’s episode featuring George Clooney and Jon Bon Jovi giving tours of their homes. How fantastic! [sells plasma to cover student loan payment]
Revenge (ABC) – How can you call your show “Revenge” and not give anyone a sword? All good revenges have swords. That’s, like, Revenge 101.
Whitney/Are You There Chelsea/American Idol (NBC, FOX) – NO.
Hillbilly Handfishin’ (Animal Planet) – From TV Guide: “A couple from Baltimore hopes a fishing adventure can save their marriage.” Read that sentence a few times to let it sink in. Really let the whole thing wash over you.
Top Chef: Texas (Bravo) – Every episode of this season should have been very fat men in overalls cooking barbecue. There you go, I fixed it. Where do I get my check? Wait, scrap that. Pay me in barbecue. Bring the truck out back.
Royal Pains (USA) – The brother on this show might be the most annoying character on television. “Oh, what, you’re trying to save someone’s life? WHAT ABOUT ME AND MY DUMB IDEAS?” I hope he gets eaten by a shark.
American Greed (CNBC) – Tonight’s episode focuses on Ponzi schemer and University of Miami booster Nevin Shapiro. The narrator of this show, Stacy Keach, makes everything sound so deliciously evil. He could make the Muppets seems like deviant sex murderers.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Josh Hutcherson and Nathan Fillion on Kimmel; Ryan Reynolds and Ellie Kemper on Letterman; Christina Applegate on Ferguson; Chris Pine and Lisa Lampanelli on Poopy McShowstealer; Vanessa Hudgens on Fallon; and Martin Short and Jon Bernthal on Conan.
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“A couple from Baltimore hopes a fishing adventure can save their marriage.”
Please let the husband refer to the first fish he catches as “General Sherman”.
I hope the husband has a shock of hair, red, like the fires of hell.
Queen of the harpies!
I was about to call you out about using the term “brother” in your synopsis of Royal Pains but remembered it’s a show set in the Hamptons. Carry on.
Another Limo? Doesn’t Max already own a limo?
CONFESSION: I have a million episodes of “Happy Endings” on my DVR that I haven’t seen because I’ve been watching a bunch of other stuff. He could own a limo for all I know.
I need to get caught up. Like, bad.
He does indeed own a lime, which he did not steal. It would seem Danger has been too caught up watching DVR;d episodes of SBB and Bro Court to actually watch Happy Endings (which gets better everyweek).
Danger, time to watch Happy Endings. Last night’s episode had a Guy Fieri reference.
Stacy Keach in the man! he made the show Titus 1000 times better and is as good a nixon in the play Frost/Nixon as Frank Langella (best short video of Keach on Titus I could find, but this doesn’t show nearly how awesome he was) [www.youtube.com]
Is Keach in a man again? Goddamit, HEY FRANK, GET THE ROPES!
I’m sooo sorry when he gets like this.
Well, this part of the video kinda gets Keach’s character in titus across: [youtu.be]
I whack off to Whitney and Laure Prepon…….so it’s a DVR full-court press…..
I believe it’s called Shrillbilly Handfishin’.
Tim Was Tim…….
….that was quite droll….
The banner pic makes me want to do bad things to Jo. Yes, she’ll always be Jo to me. I liked her domineering attitude and her low standards for physical fitness for her sexual mates.