Survivor (CBS) — (Season premiere) I watch two reality shows: “Survivor” and “Top Chef.” Every year, I think that I’ll finally lose interest in “Survivor,” and every year, I continue to watch. The gimmicks are the worst — and this year, the two tribes are separated into male and female tribes and will live together on the same beach — and practically every iteration of the game has been played half a dozen times. But I’ll keep watching. I can’t help myself. There’s a dwarf on this season, how can I not?
The Middle/Suburgatory/Modern Family/Happy Endings (ABC) — Tonight’s episode of “Happy Endings,” which will center on Max’s relationship with Grant, was directed by Kyle Newacheck, creator and star of “Workaholics.” He also directed an episode of “Community.” That’s the kind of hard-hitting information you won’t find on other TV blogs.
Only in American with Larry the Cable Guy (History) — Fun Fact: “Whitney” is also on Wednesday nights, Whitney Houston died last Saturday, and Larry the Cable Guy’s real name is Daniel Whitney. Did I just blow your mind? No? OK, here’s Larry the Cable Guy’s real voice, maybe that’ll do the trick.
Top Chef (Bravo) — (SPOILER) They eliminated Ed last week. There’s no point in watching anymore. He may have been the best contestant in the show’s history, and he was eliminated by freakin’ Pee Wee Herman.
Oprah’s Oscar Special (OWN) — I know that Oprah has her own network now, but I couldn’t even tell you if I had that station. Has anyone stumbled upon it? What else does it show besides Oprah’s talk show? Drew Carey reruns?
LATE NIGHT GUESTS — JON STEWART IS ON LETTERMAN. JON STEWART IS ON LETTERMAN. JON STEWART IS ON LETTERMAN. Ahem. It’s funny; the only time you ever see Stewart suck up to anyone, it’s on Dave. It’s kind of cute. Leno counters with Bill Maher (ha!), Kimmel has Miley Cyrus, Ferguson hosts Jon Cryer, and Carson Daly has Deadmau5. I have no idea who Deadmau5 is. Can’t wait.
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Pee Wee was 2 weeks ago but it was still BS that Ed went home. Anyone who didn’t see it coming as soon as he bought a “premade” ingredient doesn’t know Top Chef. Colicchio looked like tears were going to drip down his soul patch when Ed said the words “canned oysters.”
Right – Pee Wee sent Grayson home. And, I agree, showing Ed buy canned oysters was like showing the end results in the first 10 minutes. I like Beverly just because the other girls were all so bitchy to her, but I too am on Team Paul.
Survivor can lick my balls, Larry the Cable Guy can lick my balls.Top Chef can lick my balls. If you watch any of these programs; lick my balls.
Lookit that. Lick My Balls is in repeats this week.
Well, I do agree; having your balls licked IS good TV.
And Oprah can suck me til her eyes bleed.
Like there are other TV blogs.
DON’T BE BLAMIN’ PEEWEE! I’ll come whoop your ass. Peewee wasn’t on last week. Last week’s judges were the chef’s own mentors! So blame the guy who taught Ed to cook for Ed being eliminated.
And I’m not sure he’s the best. Heck, I’m not sure he’s the best this season. But he was definitely top two (Him and Paul).
Ed was fun to watch and all, but he’s no Kevin/Michael/Brian/Jennifer as far as skill is concerned. Nobody of their caliber has graced the show since, in my opinion. That said, I’m definitely on Team Paul now.
@Zack: Michael and Brian Voltaggio are great. Jen is good and has the chops (she works at a Ripert restaurant!!). Kevin, I was really surprised he won. But, per my post above, except for the Voltaggio’s, the other two are not near the top to ever compete on TC.
Oh, and I know OWN exists because my cable bumped AMC way up to near the pay-cable band and plunked Oprah’s fatass right down in its spot. So now I tune in to see The Walking Dead and get the bloated dead instead. It’s Jarring, I tell ya. I don’t like being legitimately frightened.
Paul is going to win. He will face the last fat chick in the head to head and beat her silly. Beverly maybe, maybe.
Also, Ed isn’t the greatest contestant, he isn’t even the greatest Ed from TC. The greatest Ed was Ed Cotton, banger of other dude’s girlfriends. The greatest contestant was Hung Huynh. That guy can beat almost anyone else who has ever been on the show. The only people who could possibly beat Hung are as follows (in no particular order of greatness): Harold (from cycle 1), Richard Blais (season 3 and All Stars), Stefan Richter (season 5), The Voltaggio Brothers (season 6), Angelo Sosa (season 7). That is all. I am a TC super fan. I will accept any challenge on TC trivia.
Angelo didn’t seem that good to me (although I don’t think we can really judge food without eating it, righ?), But I’m with you for the others, Blais and Hyunh Hung especially.
There’s a dwarf on Survivor?? AWESOME! I shamelessly still watch Survivor too, yes the gimmicks are overplayed, but when the cast is right, it’s definetly still entertaining, unlike most reality TV.
That can’t be right; it’s just someone’s penis.
There’s a guy named Tarzan and another guy name Troyzan, pure genius.
I love Survivor and have no shame.
Lest we not forget Linsanity…
Yeah, well, when you’ve watched Edward tell one of his sommeliers not to speak to him because he’s beneath him, you realize he’s a douchbag. The guy is reviled by his staff and most of the people in his city.