
Hoo boy, the rough week for horses continues. In addition to HBO’s “Luck” getting canceled in the wake of three horses dying on set, a contestant on “Full Metal Jousting” was kicked off the show this week for punching a horse in the face. Yup. From Reality Blurred:
Before practice began, Landon Morris, a 27-year-old whose bio says he “learned to ride horses in private school, picking up several riding disciplines and playing polo,” punched his horse full on in the face. “He stepped on my foot,” Landon explained, and his coach, Rod Walker, said, “And you punched him in the head?” “Had to get him off quickly.” Rod said, “I see you punch a horse in the head again—no, seriously! Don’t f**king punch a horse in the head. What is wrong with you?”
As great as Rod’s “Don’t f**king punch a horse in the head” quote is, it is still only the second best quote from this story. That is because the producers went back to Landon later to ask him about the situation, and these words came tumbling out of his big, beautiful mouth (words, as a reminder, that are about punching a horse in the face).
“I’m not upset that I did that. I did it for the right reason.”
I love every single thing about this story. Relevant video below.
via The AV Club



“Nice shoes, asshole”
Fuck that spoiled piece of shit.
You’re a fucking rich loser who likes to play like you’re a Knight from times of yore, but you think it’s ok to punch a horse in the face.
Seriously. Fuck that guy.
Horses are not having the best week ever.
Speaking of animals this week, is it TV related to show the TMZ article and photo of Donald Trump Jr. killing wild animals in Africa and holding us the elephant’s tail he cut off in joy? Classy as always, Trumps.
Yeh, that was last week’s episode. And he was every bit the dick that he sounds. Funny thing is that before then you really had NO opinion of the guy. He was barely a blip on the radar. Then POOF, instant @$$hole.
Oh, and I didn’t think of the clip above, I thought of Arnold punching out a camel in Conan.
Landon from The Real World was arrested once for punching a police horse in the face.
Apparently people named Landon punch horses.
Weird.
They keep Landon punches.
where’d that “nice shoes, asshole” thing come from? if you google it it just takes you back to WG and I know its from something, but I can’t place it exactly. i have to know.
“Hey! I have an idea! How about I nail a hat to your head and some pants to your ass? How about I nail a toilet to your big uncontrollable asshole?”
i would have punched that horse in the head as well.
With all these terrifying horse-centric stories floating around this week, something-something SARAH JESSICA PARKER, AMIRITE!?!?!
Wakka wakka wakka! *Dodges tomatoes, honks bike horn, smash cut to ponies wearing boxing gloves*
“He scuffed my Nikes yo!”
Landon Morris is merely pawn in game of life.
Candygram for Landon.
Relevant: [www.youtube.com]
Anyone with pic posting abilities feel like posting the horse decapitation from Game of Thrones, I’d welcome it.
this
Is this a prequel to The Godfather?
Love the “I MISS BARBARO” tag.
/affirmed
It pleases me to no end when people notice my stupid tags.
These horses weigh over a thousand pounds. Do you know how much it hurts when a horse steps on your foot? I do. It really hurts. Punching it is pretty much instinctive.
Maybe when standing next to an animal that weighs over a thousand pounds and can’t see it’s own feet, it should be the person who takes care not to let the horse step on their feet.
Even if the horse did step on his foot, what the fuck is punching it in the face going to accomplish. The horse probably doesn’t even know it’s stepping on that piece of shits foot. All it knows is that this asshole is just punching him in the face.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it. Fuck this spoiled whiny bitch.
Chris Brown is VERY instinctive.
One time I went to Six Flaggs and watched the tiger show. All of the sudden, the trainer playing with a tiger in a pool with a beach ball started wailing on the tiger. Like 4 or 5 really hard punches to the nose. The MC went on to say that tigers occasionally have to be punched in the face really hard when they bite down with too much force. Then the trainer who was bitten cursed really loud and walked out of the show. Horses are bigger than tigers.
Some grownups think children need to be punched in the face to keep them in line too.
Just because they think that doesn’t mean there aren’t other methods.
I punched a kitten once.
TFBuckFutter, a grownup is clearly larger than a child and has more strength than a child so therefor, a grownup hitting a child is wrong. Horses and tigers are both bigger and stronger than humans
Guess I was the only one who this story was gonna involve alchemy.
It’s not like horses have feelings anyway.
Srsly, broken foot or mildly dissatisfied horse? I’d punch the horse any day.
People have to remember a hoarse is a ‘beast of burden’ that is domesticated by humanity for work. If an animal hurts a human the human has the right to fight back against it. The hoarse weighs over 1,800 and most of that weight directed of a hoof can destroy a persons foot. Boblaw… Punching the hoarse in the face got the hoarse of his foot, that was what it accomplished. The hoarse was not hurt so what was the reason for kicking him out…… Exactly there is no reason. The host takes his job way to seriously and does not understand the idea of domestication, sure a hoarse is ur partner but it doesn’t understand words only pain and what was Landon suppost to do rub the hoarse and ask it to please get off his foot? Anyway the horse is an animal.
@Amirite and danman both of you can go fuck yourselves who are you to say horses dont have feelings? How about i punch you in the face the tell me how you feel. People like you 2 just need to be shot seriously.
Jake I’ve taken care of horses and I do understand they have feelings but I feel Landon’s punishment was to harsh, as he was protecting his own safety. What should he have done differently? Also say if I was doing something to hurt you, I would understand you punching me in the face because I would stop whatever I was doing instantly. Anyways on my post I never said horses didn’t have feeling just that they have been domesticated as beasts of burden. Jake do u feel it’s right for the host if the show to call Landon out and say he has to grow up, I do feel that was completely unnesasary and conflict could have been avoided by just saying that the rules of conduct don’t let u hit the horse even for your own safety. Jake I know ur a horse lover and I love horses to but please refrain from saying stuff u will regret.
what every one seems to be over looking is that the host is not only a overbearing jerk but has double standard ! He cares so much for those horses that during practice not 1 horse has on armor . Whats more dangerous to the horse getting hit in the face/head which did not hurt the horse only got his attention and got all 2000 lbs off of the mans foot or risking the horses life by getting stuck or hit with a lance . hmmmm food for thought
Landon proved not only that he’s a spoiled rich boy, but also that he’s a mouth-breathing neanderthal with no real understanding of horses.
A horse is not a shark, that you have to punch in a face to communicate with. It is a thinking, intelligent and trained animal, and would have responded to him if he even remotely tried to communicate with it. It’s not even like he punched the house automatically, as some knee-jerk reaction. We waited several seconds and then punched it out of annoyance.
Horses have long memories for being mistreated, and anyone who works with horses knows that if they don’t respect or trust you, they will not listen to you, and they will only work for you grudgingly if at all. It’s a good thing they kicked him off that show, because if he tried riding that horse again, it would certainly not go well for him. That’s not the kind of relationship you want to have with a giant animal that has your life in its hands. If you can’t treat the horse with respect, there’s no point in trying to ride it or win any sort of contest on its back. Horses that dislike their riders will absolutely sabotage them.
I feel genuinely bad for the horses on this show, because they’re being roughly jerked around by green riders who think they can just bully the horse into doing what they want. Like all those guys want to ride Praetorian, becasue they all think they can be the one who “tames” him. He’s a flawless horse, he’s just tired of having idiot riders. He should be taken out of the show before he’s completely ruined, because he’s getting more and more visably annoyed with every show.
Why all the filthy talk! Shows a real lack of intelligence of something better to say. I’m really in awe of all the would be psychics who can read a man’s profile and judge what kind of person he is. Horses are very powerful and resilient. They kick and bite each other all the time with nothing hurt but their pride. A 180lb man is not going to hurt an 1800lb horse. I would challenge anyone to let a horse step on their foot and not react. You’ll either pop the horse in the nose or scream like a little girl. Oh yeah, by the way Shane, you telling Landon that he needs to grow up is a joke. After all you’re pretending to be a knight. Get real!
Horses are soulless heartless walls of muscle and powerful crushing hooves. They deserve no sympathy. The guy’s foot was just a foot. People are getting so mad.
@ jW and amrite, agreed, finally people who understand that the horse is a domesticated animal. Anyway does anyone have any ideas on what Landon should have done differently? Since apparently these poor abused creatures need a pep talk and a back massage to do anything there suppost to.
God gave man dominion over all the animals. They were put here as part of His plan for us. Some of them feed us, clothe us and even protect us. All creatures big and small are part of the circle of life. It’s man’s responsibility to care for and preserve them. I’ll guarantee that ANYONE who rides horses loves them (including me). As for Landon, he may have broken the rules, but not intentionally. It was a REACTIVE response that any of the other 15 would have probably done. I wonder if this incident is some fallout from the TV series Luck????
To everyone who says that’s a normal reaction. It isn’t. After working with horses for years and having my feet stepped on with shoes, without shoes and by draft horses and ponies alike. You don’t punch a horse. A simple shove on the shoulder would have gotten that horse off of your foot. You react calmly, any good rider who’s had experience can react better than that. Landon was a stupid inexperienced rider who’d obviously been given an easy ride in his life with horses. He did need to grow up, they had full rights to kick him off for that.
Kelsey, first of all, you’re right about one thing. If you gently move a horses head, his feet will usually follow. Dear, I’m a 50 yr. old cattle farmer that rides quarter horses every week. And yes, I’ve been stepped on, bucked off and kicked over those 50 yrs. and it hurt every time. But experience has taught me to avoid most of those situations. Obviously all of your experience didn’t teach you that! Kelsey, if you’re bad enough to stand there calmly with a DRAFT horse standing on your foot and gently push him off, then you need to be on the show. Speaking of the show, one would think that the contestants were screened beforehand and no (stupid, inexperienced riders) allowed to participate. As far as Landon goes, you people don’t know him. Lay off the kid! I admire him for defending his actions on national TV. THAT TOOK GUTS! So far the only thing I’ve seen carted off to the hospital were contestants and not horses.
In my 40+ years of dealing with horses, I have learned this…hitting a horse in the mouth with a closed fist is a stupid, knee-jerk response. A “horseman” opposed to a “rider” knows that once a horse is head-shy you are screwed.
I’ve been working with horses since I was ten years old. I’m now almost 40. I have always been taught: let the punishment fit the crime. This guy was over the top. I’ve had jousting horses step on my feet before (I used to take care of Jaegermeister for the Knights of Mayhem, and Jaeger can be a real piece of work at times), but even so, a shove or slap on the shoulder will get almost any horse off your foot. It hurts when these big boys step on you, but they were in deep sand, so it was a LOT less painful than this dork made it out to be. Hitting a horse in the face with a forearm while wearing armour was just plain stupid and mean. My stallion got “punched”, just once, when he tried to rear up and go over the top of me to get at a mare he noticed in a nearby paddock (I was leading him). I threw my left hand up to protect my head and he ran his nose square into my closed hand (which was full of lead rope). It hurt my hand, and I’m betting his nose didn’t feel any better, but thankfully he isn’t headshy because of it (I was worried he might be ruined by the experience, but thankfully, he wasn’t! ) I DO NOT advocate hitting a horse in the head! Disciplining a horse is one thing, but this was a human throwing a temper tantrum and the horse paying the price. I know Shane personally, and I think he showed remarkable restraint by not snapping the guy in half. Shane’s a pretty nice guy as long as you’re nice, but he’s incredibly protective of his horses! And why wouldn’t he be? These animals have a lot of time and training invested in them (Ever try to buy a jousting horse? Yeah, they don’t come cheap and good ones are hard to find), and I think most responsible horse owners would be just as angry if their horse got treated so poorly! It’s one thing to use reasonable discipline for dangerous behavior, quite another to take out your frustrations on a horse. Particularly when SOMEONE ELSE has been nice enough to let you use his horse!
The only thing I still wonder about is why did Shane have to call out Landon, I feel it was unesesary. I know he was angry about his horse injury but it was over the top and he is being paid well and all this publicity is reviving a dead sport that he supports indeffinetly. The only thing I can think of is that the producer or him wanted to over emphasize Landon’s loss to show young viewers that treating a horse like that is incorrect.
I don’t think it was the producers. I’ve seen Shane get LIVID when his horses get mistreated. If this guy had hit my horse like that, I would probably be even LESS nice about it. Apparently this Landon character has a really bad rep with horses period. From what I understand, the SCA equestrians in California don’t think very highly of him either.
Ya, if anything hopefully he learned it was not his property to controll how he wanted. Before I thought Shane was alil extreme but I now do realize that that horse is owned by him, payed and trained, which completely justifies kicking Landon off the show.
Hey guys, you’re making some good points! I certainly don’t condone striking a horse in the face either. I missed the last episode so its possible I missed some details. Was the horse really injured? If so, did he require vet treatment for the trauma? Right or wrong guys, some of these posts are sounding more like a Landon Lynching Party. Let’s focus on nice guy Shane for a minute. Obviously he’s the one with money if he can afford a stable full of jousting Ferraris. From what I’ve seen, the practice sessions are as hardcore as the competitions yet these invaluable steeds aren’t wearing any body armor during practice. Really? Really?? I don’t care how nice he seems to be, it’s all about the ratings! He’s a grown man pretending to be a knight! And making damn good money for it. More power to him. Seriously, who’s the real spoiled rich kid here. Hmmm? Shane, that’s who. What he does he does for the cameras. Like I’ve said before, the only things I’ve seen carted off to the hospital were contestants and not horses! Hope I haven’t stepped on anyone’s toes!
Good point!
Did anyone else think Shane might break down and suck Knowles’ cock? Holy shit. He unabashedly rooted for him from day one. Maybe he offered him another hundred K to get him alone in a stall overnight. Pathetic.
i grew up around cows not horses and would never even thought to do that. ive been stepped on countless times in the years on the farm and i could never be that stupid!!!!!!!!!
I thought shane was more likely to suck the horses cock the way he was acting. it was ridiculous, I wanted landon to say sorry…for punching your girlfriend, or something like that.