‘Jersey Shore’ Will Live Forever

MTV announced yesterday that “Jersey Shore” will return for a sixth season, even though there are currently two spin-offs being filmed, and Snooki will be carrying a fetus. Like, inside her stomach, not just in her purse or a backpack or something. That would be weird, and probably illegal. Anyway, here’s the announcement about the show:

Snooki promised at the end of the latest season of “Jersey Shore” that she’d be back for more Seaside Heights, New Jersey, shenanigans, and she wasn’t lying. MTV News has confirmed that there will be another season of the “Shore” — with mom-to-be Snooki joining her pals.

Although further details about season six of the hit MTV reality show have yet to be released — though we do know “Shore” will tape this summer — the network released a statement hinting that there will be new themes to explore.

“While things will definitely be a little different this time when they hit the boardwalk, their trademark hilarity and family dysfunction will remain the same,” an MTV rep teased. [MTV]

I hate being Johnny EverythingIsDumb, but I seriously can’t believe there have only been five seasons of this show. With all the exposure the cast has gotten during the show’s run, it feels like they’ve packed ten years of career into half the time. And it shows no signs of letting up. As I mentioned above, there are two more “Jersey Shore”-related shows hitting the air this year, and we are about to be swamped with news coverage about pregnant Snooki, and that will make me want to throw all my electronics into a fire pit and go live in a cave. It’s going to get worse before it gets better, people.

I suppose the point I’m trying to make is that MTV is going to squeeze every bronzer-soaked drop of life out of this show until it turns into an undead corpse wandering the television landscape with no direction or reason for existing. Like a character on “The Walking Dead.”