I was re-watching a Louis C.K. stand-up special on Netflix this weekend (because there's nothing else to watch on Netflix, but that's another story on another site) and as I was listening along to his bits, a certain life philosophy began to take shape. Louis C.K. has a very wise, very profane, and very funny perspective on existence. One joke in particular got me thinking: Louis C.K. should write a self-help book -- more like a pamphlet, really. Maybe he could even put it on stone tablets. In fact, you know what: Louis C.K. should have his own Bible. He should compile a set of principles relating to ethics and worship, which would play a fundamental role in how we live our lives. No, actually, you know what? Louis C.K. should start his own goddamn religion, and these should be Louis's 20 Commandments.
Thou Shalt Refrain from Optimism
Thou Shall Not Interrupt One's Life to Tweet About It
Thou Shall Avoid Hyperbole
Thou Shall Not Blame Technology for One's Sh*tty Life
Thou Shall Honor God By Masturbating
Thou Shall Continue to Eat Until You Hate Yourself
Thou Shalt Have Sexual Relations with Ewan McGregor
Thou Shall Respect a Woman's Nonviolent Stance
Thou Shalt Never Complain of Boredom
Thou Shalt Not Interfere in the Marriages of Others
Thou Shall Have the Appropriate Perspective on Race
Thou Shalt Not Rape
Thou Shall Protect the Earth
Thou Shalt Not Murder, Unless Thou Can Get Away With It
Thou Shall Limit One's Dreams
Thou Shalt Not Complain About Petty, Insignificant Bulls*t
Thou Should Be Careful of About Crossing a Woman
Thou Shalt Not Be Afraid of a Woman's Body
Thou Shalt Have a Code, But You Don't Have to Live By It
Thou Shalt Ignore the Commandments of God
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/4006/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/fxs-the-bridge-gets-its-first-extended-promo-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/tumblr_mj0jbq9Dhi1qg0odto1_500-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/tumblr_mm69r9kqUW1rlv2i4o1_500-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/tumblr_mlsvy01VOq1r7l9h2o3_500-150x150.gif)
This is literally the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.
…
Dammit, even when trying to abide by Louis CK’s commandments I’m still a sinner.
This is really good. (I was going to say amazing, but then I remembered the 3rd New Commandment.)
Yes. Very much yes.
“ouis C.K. should write a self-help book — more like a pamphlet, really.”
Will it be as good as Ron Swanson’s?
Page one – Be a man.
The end.
Damnit Rowles, this may be your best list ever, and I’ve read pajiba for years. Well done sir.
fucking hell, each and every one of those cut me to the core. very well done, good sirs.
furthermore, if anyone can come up with a cost effective way to transmit the boredom commandment to every living being in the US, please let me know.
Those were humorous and insightful. I was not bored by them. Now excuse me while I go masturbate to Ewan MacGregor.
There’s something wrong with this list!… I can find no fault in it.
Now what do I complain about?
Oh, actually that’s pretty good. I feel better.
Complain about the people who are complaining about the list.
God he makes me so hard. Sorry Danger, when I grow up I still want to be the next Mrs Louis CK.
While I do not agree with #20 I do respect him for it.
Louis would also be against hoisting up anyone as a demigod. Which is exactly why it needs to be him.
#19 might be one of the best closing jokes in the history of comedy.
+20. And I’m proud of it. And God’s happy.
#13 – Thou shalt not rape.
Actually rape IS addressed in the 10 commandments Mr. Smart-Ass C.K. Thou shalt not commit adultery pretty much covers all sex outside the confines of marriage (including rape).
@bksfilm
Rape is the crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse. This can and does occur in the confines of marriage. Rape is addressed in several places in the bible saying that the rapist must pay her father and then marry her (Deuteronomy) or that the girl must be put to death (also Deuteronomy) there are several other instances where rape is sanctioned by “the lord”. Perhaps you should read the book?
Jesus Christ. Enough of the cock-worship, you miserable cunts. Louis CK may be slightly less of a fucking moron than you guys (though still a fucking moron), but you can still aspire infinitely higher.
funny.
[lnk。co]
Business with this site now,You cearn more money and enjoy your shopping life
I understand CK has fluked Fluke. Not surprising. The slut.
I’ve had sandwiches which have impressed me more than some of the items on this list. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy watching Louis C.K. But he’s a comedian, not a guru. He’s not leading some kind of “Stop Complaining About Shit” Revolution, so don’t treat him like a prophet.
*idea* “write something about louis ck, and people will click on it.” $$$$$$$$$$$$$
i can write “80085″ on my calculator. $$$$$$$$
I have no problem with anything on this list. However, the stuff that you wrote at the beginning is kinda idiotic.
There’s a TON of good stuff on Netflix, but so little of it is in HD.
And I can’t go back to SD. I will not.
“How To Masturbate In Front Of Comediennes”