New Episodes Of ‘Trapped In The Closet’ Coming To IFC

In news that I probably will never understand even if I think about it every waking moment for the rest of my life and I end up living to be 5,000 years old, IFC announced that they will be producing new episodes of R. Kelly’s gloriously bonkers and complicated hip-hopera, “Trapped in the Closet.” Speaketh Kells:

“When I first began experiencing the unknown journey of writing Trapped in the Closet I knew after the first chapter that I had tapped into something that was not of this earth,” Kelly said in a statement. “Being the nosy person that I am, I more than anyone wanted to know what the second chapter would be. And now here we are at chapter 23, trapped in the million dollar question – what the hell is the package? Well, ladies and gentlemen, not only am I ready to reveal what the package is, but I have many more chapters to share.” [Rolling Stone]

I feel conflicted about this. On one hand, R. Kelly is a total creep. He tried to marry Aaliyah when she was 15, he had charges brought against him that he had sex with — and urinated on — an underage girl, and he escaped another child pornography charge because of a bad warrant. He’s not a particularly good dude. On the other hand, JESUS did you read that quote? The first 22 chapters of “Trapped in the Closet” were 100% lunacy extract, and now, YEARS LATER, R. Kelly is going to answer a “million dollar question” about a project that he describes “not of this Earth.” This is the same man who once remixed the National Anthem (video below). As someone who loves R&B music and things that are insane (and frequently needs content for a TV blog), this is a godsend. I don’t condone the things he’s done and is alleged to have done, but as long as he’s a free man, let’s make the best of an icky situation.