What’s On Tonight: Gunfights, Dancing, Etc.

Justified (FX) – ALERT: In light of last week’s events, the Boyd Crowder Hair Threat Level has been temporarily elevated from “Child Using a Balloon to Produce Static Electricity” to “Cartoon Electrocution.” (NOTE: Writer VJ Boyd will be joining us again for tomorrow’s discussion.)

Dancing With the Stars: The Story So Far (ABC) – Prior to tonight’s episode of “Dancing With the Stars,” ABC is airing this behind-the-scenes special. I guess it makes sense given the show’s popularity, but if we ever invent a time machine, I call dibs on sitting down with TV execs from the 1970s and explaining the concept of an hour-long special about the inner-workings of a show where C-list celebrities compete in a ballroom dancing competition that airs during primetime on a major network.

Raising Hope/New Girl/Breaking In (FOX) – On tonight’s episode of “Raising Hope,” Burt’s candidacy for a position in a church group is at risk unless he can find a replacement seeing eye pig for one of the blind parishioners. That was a fun sentence to type.

NCIS/NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS) – Some friends and I recently had a fun discussion about what show on CBS’s schedule is the most CBS. These two shows were tossed around, as were comedies like “Two and a Half Men” and “2 Broke Girls,” but we decided that “CSI: Miami” was far and away the most CBS show. Feel free to discuss this in the comments.

Con Air (TNT) – I could honestly watch a full-length documentary about Nicolas Cage’s accent in this movie. How he chose it, how long he worked on it, how the other cast members felt about it, what the studio executives thought about it, etc. It’s fascinating that something that terrible got by so many people and into a big-budget Hollywood movie, and I must know more about it.

Storage Wars Texas (A&E) – From TV Guide: “A visit to Lewisville leads to a feud over a player piano.” Jesus, what is this? 1890?

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ashton Kutcher, Justin Bieber, the latest “DWTS” cast-off, and All-American Rejects on Kimmel; Jason Sudeikis on Letterman; Mitt Romney and Megan Hilty on Leno; Shaq and Lily Collins on Fallon; Josh Hutchinson and Simon Pegg on Conan.