A Bacon Reality Show?????????????

Let’s go straight to the blockquote. I have THINGS TO SAY about this.

Unscripted producer LMNO Prods. (I Get That A Lot) is developing a reality series about bacon centered on Justin Esch and Dave Lefkow, better known as The Bacon Boys. Since creating the idea for their popular BaconSalt on the back of a cocktail napkin in 2007, Esch and Lefkow have built their J&D’s Foods into multimillion dollar company whose mission is to make everything taste like bacon. [Deadline]

OK, I need to say something here, and you aren’t going to like it: People need to settle the hell down about bacon. Don’t get me wrong, bacon is delicious, and should be put on every cheeseburger as a matter of principle, but this fanboy “OMG BACON DROOL” crap has got to stop. I mean, it’s not even the best breakfast meat. Sausage is superior both in taste and quantity. (Maybe it’s my middle class upbringing, but if I’m paying the same amount for two different food products, I want the one with more substance to it, not the three glorified meat potato chips. SHOTS FIRED.) Instead of being deified as some sort of superfood, bacon should be treated as what it really is: the undisputed king of condiments. Add it to everything: mac and cheese, omelettes, burgers, hot dogs, whatever. The world is your bacon-wrapped oyster. But have a little damn self-respect. The whole thing has gotten out of control, as this quote from that Deadline story illustrates:

“In the great American tradition of making the ridiculous even more ridiculous-er, we at J&D’s Foods look forward to joining the ranks of Snooki, the Kardashians and Flava Flav as America’s next great reality TV stars,” Esch and Lefkow said.

Enough is enough, people. I’m glad we had this talk.

×