Let’s go straight to the blockquote. I have THINGS TO SAY about this.
Unscripted producer LMNO Prods. (I Get That A Lot) is developing a reality series about bacon centered on Justin Esch and Dave Lefkow, better known as The Bacon Boys. Since creating the idea for their popular BaconSalt on the back of a cocktail napkin in 2007, Esch and Lefkow have built their J&D’s Foods into multimillion dollar company whose mission is to make everything taste like bacon. [Deadline]
OK, I need to say something here, and you aren’t going to like it: People need to settle the hell down about bacon. Don’t get me wrong, bacon is delicious, and should be put on every cheeseburger as a matter of principle, but this fanboy “OMG BACON DROOL” crap has got to stop. I mean, it’s not even the best breakfast meat. Sausage is superior both in taste and quantity. (Maybe it’s my middle class upbringing, but if I’m paying the same amount for two different food products, I want the one with more substance to it, not the three glorified meat potato chips. SHOTS FIRED.) Instead of being deified as some sort of superfood, bacon should be treated as what it really is: the undisputed king of condiments. Add it to everything: mac and cheese, omelettes, burgers, hot dogs, whatever. The world is your bacon-wrapped oyster. But have a little damn self-respect. The whole thing has gotten out of control, as this quote from that Deadline story illustrates:
“In the great American tradition of making the ridiculous even more ridiculous-er, we at J&D’s Foods look forward to joining the ranks of Snooki, the Kardashians and Flava Flav as America’s next great reality TV stars,” Esch and Lefkow said.
Enough is enough, people. I’m glad we had this talk.
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Bacon up that sausage, boy!
BRING BACK MATT
I love bacon. I almost named my dog Bacon. This show is about as interesting as dryer lint. In fact, let’s make a reality show about that.
*Grizzled prospector raises his hat up and glares into the camera*
“Ya wouldn’t believe the things I pull out of lint traps…”
worst meme ever
I’m all for the recognition of the cornucopia of awesome breakfast meats (pork roll over here, boyeeeee), but let’s not let the people who splooge over bacon ruin it for the rest of us who love it and don’t feel the need to riot every time the word is mentioned.
Sausage over bacon? You are wrong. DEAD WRONG.
“Give me all the bacon and eggs that you have.”
-R. Swanson (emphasis added)
I’m sure the only reason there hasn’t been a massive bacon backlash is because bacon is too delicious to hate.
And at least the bacon boom led to more restaurants serving pork belly. Mmmm, pork belly.
You had me until you indicated that sausage is better than bacon at which point I realized you must be a crazy person.
Sausage is much better than bacon and I will go to my grave fighting this battle.
Agreed on the sausage>bacon, but the real question is: do you prefer the smooth-skinned variety or the textured link?
TEAM BACON
You failed to take into account what you can do after you’ve cooked the bacon. Eggs fried in bacon fat are vastly superior to eggs cooked in whatever the fuck is left after frying sausage. And it doesn’t have to be just eggs – mustard greens are fantastic as well.
What if you don’t have mustard for your sausage? You don’t need to add anything to bacon to make it delicious. In fact, adding bacon to things is amazing.
Danger, you’re missing the whole allure of bacon. Of course sausage has more substance. It needs more substance to compare to bacon. What bacon does in 3 4 inch strips sausage needs two whole patties to do. Bacon is so much more efficient at tasting delicious.
Anyways, Bacon is Jordan in it’s prime. If you don’t like it, you’re being contrarian just for the sake of being contrarian. Danger, you know in your heart bacon is the true king of the breakfast platter, don’t deny it just to have a different opinion, or you’ll miss out on so much.,
Bacon v. Sausage is the Sophie’s Choice of pork products.
I’m with Danger. #TeamSausage (yeah, I know what it sounds like, I don’t care)
And another thing, a BLT is not a sandwich. B, L, and T are things you put on OTHER sandwiches to enhance them!
BLASPHEMER!
Danger: aren’t you from Philly? If so, where do you stand on scrapple? This is clearly a very important issue so I’ll be here mashing F5 waiting for your response.
Sausage > bacon scrapple ham
I was just about to comment the same thing. Imposter! Anyone from Philly knows that scrapple is clearly the best breakfast meat. Or garnish for a Bloody Mary, if you’re feeling fancy.
God I want some scrapple now. So much.
Sausage > bacon > scrapple > ham
That’s just…I don’t even…ALL 4 ARE IN THE WRONG PLACE!
Jesus Christ, am I like the only person here who has even heard of pork roll?
Bacon is great. Meeting adjourned.
Sausage over bacon? Are you fucking kidding me? SAUSAGE CANT CARRY A BREAKFAST LIKE BACON AND YOU KNOW IT. Bacon is Michael Jordan and Sausage is Toni Kukoc at best (Eggs are Pippen, obviously). Let’s just call you Skip Bayless from now on you contrarian taintwrap. Stick to Saved by the Bell.
Yo you seem pretty passionate about this. Much respect.
Really, Danger? No correction on “FLAVA Flav?” I thought you were better than this. This bacon vs. sausage nonsense is messing with your priorities.
Wait Danger, sausage patties or links?
Well can we at least all agree that Canadian Bacon should be shunned and banished from all non-stack/sandwich breakfast foods? Seriously, if your a la carte breakfast meat of choice is Hockey Bacon, well you don’t even deserved to die, you wasted life why wouldn’t you waste death?
Canadian bacon is great for people on diets who want something that tastes like ham for breakfast. So in other words, no.
Sausage is better in taste and “quantity”? How is something “better in quantity”? Like you’d rather eat a pound of sausage as opposed to a pound of bacon?
Ok danger, I’ve been on fence concerning your quality as a writer for some time now but this article firmly plants me in the “fuck you bring back Matt column” you brought this on yourself, sausage is better than bacon? Fuck you
Briefly… Sausage >>> bacon. That is all.
Danger is correct when he favors sausage because of it’s volume. That’s why I always order a side of sausage with bacon and eggs.
Bacon. sausage is for gay men.
Also, if you want a real argument, Bacon vs. Cheese.
Bacon is fine and all (sspeaking as someone who has been out of the pork game for a year I guess I’m biased against it, but yes, it is tasty) but I’ve been saying this for years now. Ron Swanson is the only person in my book allowed to profess their love of bacon at me more than once. Everyone else is just being irritating at this point.
It’s the mock-sincerity that gets me. None of you truly care that much about bacon, you just all like it and silently agreed to be insufferable about it. And then the silence ended for, presumably, forever.
Hey, who wants to start a “OMG SHARP CHEDDAR” meme with me and start listing it as an interest on every social platform we can infiltrate?