With all our recent talk of “Mad Men,” “Game of Thrones,” and “Eastbound & Down,” we’ve neglected to inform you that this Sunday is the series premiere of that TV show based on a TV movie about sexxxy massages starring the woman from Heartbreakers’ breasts.
That woman is, of course, Jennifer Love Hewitt, who has been in the public eye (and the pervert’s mind) since “Party of Five,” before breaking big in I Know What You Did Last Summer and Can’t Hardly Wait, the greatest movie named after a Replacements’ song ever. And that show is Lifetime’s “The Client List.”
Ads for the show have been EVERYWHERE, from the sides of buses to the bottle of oil my erotic masseuse uses. And every time I see one, I can’t help but think, “JLH has been really attractive for some time now.” (Direct quote.) See here, here, here, and definitely here. (*wants to make a joke about her album Let’s Go Bang, realizes she was only 16 when it was released*) She’s even on the cover of this month’s Maxim, for their “Girls of the 1990s” issue. That begs the question: since the ‘90s, is she the most consistently attractive female TV star? (C’mon, even in her so-called “fat” phase, she was still cute.)
Some other possibilities, as well as a new “Client List” teaser, are after the jump.
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![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/Jennifer-Love-Hewitt-in-lingerie-for-The-Client-List-new-video-caps-11-560x317-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/lizdick-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/jen-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/01/JenniferLoveHewitt-TheClientList005-150x150.gif)
I don’t understand the show. Is she supposed to be a hooker?
SHOUTOUT TO THE TUXEDO!
Which has the best blooper real of any film ever. Mainly because it consists of Jackie Chan calling JLH, and I quote, “waste of time, waste of film”
[www.youtube.com]
*Patiently awaits DG’s retort of “Tiffani Amber Thiessen”*
Real talk, FatPol. I was about to write the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING, but I didn’t know how to spell “thiessen.”
Does Mindy Cohn qualify as 80′s or 90′s? Fuck it. Put her on the list.
I also think Aniston and Scully have gotten even hotter. Its insanity.
Anderson went through a pretty rough stage, though.
I will say this only once: the proliferation of pro-Hewitt writing on this site is fucking inexcusable.
Seconded.
BRING BACK MATT!
YO.
It’s because of the John Mayer thing, isn’t it? We all make mistakes. Terrible, terrible mistakes.
“JLH is hot vs. JLH is not hot” is the new “Zooey vs. Emily”
BLASPHEMY
Fuck you, would still bang.
Yeah, nice tits, but she seems fucking insufferable.
Have you not seen how she has turned into a pear?
Has nobody seen pictures of her below the waist in the last ten years? Fuck, is Josh blind??
I’m with Vince. Just because her tits look nice in a push up bra does not mean she has been consistently hot for 20 years. The only reason she has not ballooned up 200 pounds is her lack of children.
GO AWAY MATT.
1980-2000 was ruled by Heather Locklear
Spin City Heather Locklear was the best.
(Except for the part where she ruined the show.)
Sarah Michelle Gellar has still got it, but I’ve always had it bad for Hewitt and I will continue to want to do unspeakable, horrific, sweaty, gooey sexual things to her. That’s my promise to you, the reader.
+1
I should add that her kid sister from Party of Five has surpassed her in hotness, I don’t have image rights but do a GIS for Lacey Chabert.
Yeah, Lacey looked absolutely amazing in Not Another Teen Movie and Mean Girls. Why hasn’t she become a bigger star? Or been in porn? I’ll take either one.
SMG is a good choice. I’m thinking Charisma Carpenter, also from Buffy, is still attractive, too.
here you go
GIS Charisma Carpenter’s Playboy spread.
Ha-cha-cha-cha
I’ve had a crush on Lacey Chabert since the time I was 12 and saw her in that shitty Lost in Space movie. Bums me out that she disappeared off the face of the Earth
@ixha
Lacey can be found doing VO in Star Wars®: The Old Republic®™.
That’s all I got.
#nerdalert
Definitely not on this list: Teri Hatcher.
Agreed. Such a disappointment.
I prefer to remember this
Right now in my mind it’s the Lois and Clark Promo photo where she’s wrapped in the superman cape. It’s a good place in my mind right now.
there will always be a special place in my heart for J-Love. It is my penis. As for the rest of the women shown, meh.
Does Natalie Portman count? Sure, she was jailbait when she broke onto the scene, but so was I.
Aw crap. I always forget to limit it to TV over here.
Betty White is adequate for certain needs……
[yeeeah.com]
She looks like she hasn’t aged a day!
It could be the outfit, but I’m going to say JLH still hot. Not sure how old this picture is.
It’s the outfit. And the pose. And the body and the face. Yup, still hot.
The pose that conveniently hides her awful ass, the airbrushing that hides her awful nose and the outfit that hides her awful cellulite…
I feel like a crazy person for having point out the obvious omission of Alyssa Milano.
Nice call.
She was an 80′s star to begin with, though…but she was also like 10. I’m so conflicted! We need guidelines.
Or Courtney Taylor from Hey Dude fame.
/Ignore the Ben Stiller thing
Who’s the Boss lasted til 92, so Alyssa Milano was 20 when the show ended. Google fu ftw.
Wait, where’s the fu? I said she became a star in the 80′s when she was really young and that we need guidelines on how to pick.
She’s cute but I never got what the big deal was about her.
Shannon Doherty looks pretty slammin on those commercials for online college courses.
Another one of my 90s favorites.
Somewhere, still in development, is a quadcore processor strong enough to handle the ultimate copy of the photo-editing software used to reduce Hewitt’s thighs in current photos. I think it’s called the Intel Kardashiancore.
I’m going to go out on a limb and pick a dark horse. Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Not bad for 50.
Hmmm.She is pretty nice.
I was gonna say sponge worthy but that seems inappropriate some how
She looks better now than with “the wall” of hair.
agreed
Good call, she’s aging very well. 50!? Damn!
Going with Rebecca Romijn Stamps… what do I win?
oh and the hottest star of the 90s? Nikki Cox from Unhappily Ever After. But for the love of God don’t Google any recent pics of her.
*Stamos … fuck you Droid autocorrect!
But was Rebecca Romijn a TV star in the 90s? Seems like she was strictly a supermodel/blue moviestar before NTSF:SD:SUV:: came along.
she hosted that one model show on MTV before Daisy Fuentes did
I think Vanessa Marcil has held up reasonably well.
If this show was on Showtime and J-Love got naked every week (a la Rossum in “Shameless”) – I would definitely tune in. Is that wrong?
Course not. Perfectly acceptable.
But holy fucking shit, she really had an album titled “Let’s Go Bang.” Surprisingly, it was Google’s first result. Thought that might get a bit out there.
I’ve always been more of an Aniston guy, myself. She actually appeared in my dreams a couple weeks ago. Good times were had by all. LoveHew is definitely a strong runner-up in physical terms, but Aniston has a very likable personality (to me, anyway), which puts her above pretty much any of these other candidates.
I like my coffee like I like my women: named Jennifer.
Stacy Dash or does this 90′s star have to be white, since they show their age?
+1
Claire Forlani and Gabrielle Anwar from the much loved Press Gang way back in 1990 have still got it. Twin Peaks had some amazing girls in it but only Heather Graham remains on the radar. What’s Madchen Amick upto?
What’s Madchen Amick up to?
Apparently she took a job running a women’s prison: [www.imdb.com]
Are we counting Disney tweens? Because they’re all too old now.
Hot damn, that Aniston RS cover. My penis still shudders in fear in remembrance of the self abuse I inflicted on it the day (and weeks after) that issue appeared in my mailbox.
JLH has more cottage cheese than a dairy. Still; would bang
*would bang whole list.
**would bang White well after hip was broken.
2/10. Would not bang.
You mean Josh?
Josie Bissett and Brooke Langton still look pretty good. So does Jennie Garth.