
For his work on “The Critic,” “Saturday Night Live,” “The Simpsons,” and “NewsRadio,” Jon Lovitz is already one of my ten favorite fellow Chosen People. But after what he recently accomplished via Twitter, he might now be in the top-five, between Bob Dylan and Dr. Zoidberg.
According to The Inquistir:
[Jon Lovitz] has used Twitter to bring down a trio of teenage bullies who left anti-Semitic graffiti and feces on the doorstep of their victim…The three 14 year olds drew swastikas and wrote the word ‘JEW’ in maple syrup in front of their victim’s house. Feces was left on the doorstep.
What the Canadian Nazis – I assume, what with the maple syrup loving and Jew hating — didn’t know is that the target of their sh*tty prank (heh?) was the daughter of one of Lovitz’s friends. Lovitz took to Twitter to tell what had happened, and eventually tweeted a picture of the three teens.

Feh! I haven’t been this shocked since Katz’s ran out pastrami on the same day my cousin Moishe married that shikse Shaniqua. Anyway, a few days later, Lovitz wrote: “UPDATE!!!! The three girls who vandalized my friends home with swastikas and dog crap, have been expelled from their school permanently.” They can’t be charged with a hate crime because the syrup didn’t cause any permanent damage, but their mother, who DROVE THEM TO THE HOUSE, can. Mr. Lovitz, if you release a guide on how to take down the scum of the Earth, I would, indeed, buy your book.



Canadian Nazis… I hate Canadian Nazis.
Stupid Nazis. They can’t even flip the bird correctly. GET THOSE THUMBS IN YOU DUMB NAZIS!!
I’m not Jewish. I don’t think I actually have any Jewish friends. But I hate scum like those three girls and their stupid mother. And I love seeing them being brought to justice.
One question, though – how could the mother be charged when the kids couldn’t? The deciding factor, according to the article, seems to be the lack of damage caused by the syrup – how is that different for the idiot scum mother?
Twitter has officially become the “BFG” of the internet.
The joke is on those girls because in 20 years they’ll be fat.
What a waste of sweet, delicious maple syrup. If you’re going to waste it, use that Mrs. Butterworth crap.
“One question, though – how could the mother be charged when the kids couldn’t? The deciding factor, according to the article, seems to be the lack of damage caused by the syrup – how is that different for the idiot scum mother?”
Yeah that doesn’t make any sense…I think the article should be changed to reflect reality
So…..we’re thinking Aunt Jemima is controlled by Hollywood…?
In Florida, those girls would have been shot for looking mischievous, all highed up on drugs with their toilet paper and maple syrup.
They should be forced to watch holocaust scenes for days on end until their nazi mentality is broken.
Shaniqua is a shvartza’s name if I ever heard one.
…Racism!
I was fighting Canadian Nazis on Twitter, too…yeah, in fact they were Canadian GEESE Nazis, that learned to talk and use social media and love Hitler. Yeah, that’s right. I told them to cut it out, and they were so afraid that….they purposefully flew right into a plane that was about to crash into the Statue of Liberty! Yeah, I’m a hero, see! Got a medal and everything. And I met Morgan Fairchild, and we’ve been making sweet love for the last 3 weeks straight.
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
I look forward to the inevitable book deal. Mein Girls has a nice ring to it.
But seriously, fuck that mother. She makes the sadists on “Toddlers and Tiaras” look like parents of the year.