Kurt Sutter’s New Reality Show Will Make ‘Sons of Anarchy’ Look Like ‘Sesame Street’

“Sons of Anarchy” showrunner Kurt Sutter has signed on with the Discovery Channel to produce a gritty reality show about some of the world’s most notorious gangs and criminal organizations — told from the perspective of the criminals themselves — and he is setting the bar mighty high. And by “mighty high,” I mean “pretty much on the moon.”

Writer-producer Kurt Sutter will make his first foray into unscripted TV by executive producing and appearing in new series titled “Outlaw Empires.” The series will examine crime organizations such as the Crips street gang, the Irish Mob, a Latin American crime family, the Aryan Brotherhood and, yes, outlaw bikers. Each episode will include interviews with a criminal organization’s current and former members, some of whom are in hiding, and tell tales that Sutter promises will “make ‘Sons of Anarchy’ look like ‘Sesame Street.’” [EW]

At this point in our discussion, I’d just like to make one, small point: LOOK AT THAT BANNER PICTURE. Katey Sagal’s character on “Sons of Anarchy” pulled a gun on a baby. ON A ***BABY***. And this new show will make that show “look like ‘Sesame Street’”? Jesus Basejumping Christ. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Is someone going to pull two guns on a baby? Or one gun on a room full of babies? Or is a gang-affiliated baby going to pull a gun on a one-eyed puppy? Or are a baby, a puppy, and a skinhead going to have a Mexican standoff in the middle of a Chuck E. Cheese? Or is … is … nope, that’s it. I’m out of things. This has apparently caused my brain to grind to a halt.

I may end up watching this show more out of morbid curiosity than anything else.