Election season is upon us. This is terrible news. Over the next five months all of our televisions will be infected by negative campaign ads full of black and white pictures splashed with red ink and a deep-voiced narrator explaining that his candidate’s opponent hates freedom or supports terrorism or is in the pocket of corporate fat cats or wants to restrict business or is a warmonger or doesn’t support the troops or is a fascist or is a socialist or wants to raise taxes or is a flip-flopper or once smoked weed in his bathroom in high school or went to a Prince concert in 1991 and thought it was “just OK” or some other accusation that makes you unelectable in this country. Thank God for DVRs.
However, it also means that sometimes — once in a glorious blue moon — we will get an ad like this one. I’m not exactly sure what spinning bow ties, weightlifting, woodworking, and making dinner for your grandkids have to do with being an effective judge, but I do know that if you edit them all together and lay a homemade, explanatory rap song that starts with the phrase “Holy moley” over top of it all, you will get your damn campaign commercial posted here on Warming Glow on a slow news day. Yes you will.