It’s been a little while since we checked in on Jon and Kate Gosselin, the former stars of TLC’s “HEY LOOGIT ALL THE KIDS THEY HAVE” “Jon & Kate Plus 8.” Their show has been off the air for two years now, so, naturally, they have started to look for some other ways to support themselves. Let’s see what Kate’s up to first. I heard she was putting together a cruise where her fans could meet her. Sounds neat!
Kate Gosselin’s event on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship has been canceled because of poor turnout and low ticket sales, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.
The mother of eight was supposed to set sail from August 12 to August 19 at a rate of $1,900-$3,175 per ticket, but it’s no longer happening and all cruise-goers have been fully refunded. [Radar Online]
Oh. What about you, Jon? Last we heard from you, you were cruising Los Angeles in Ed Hardy shirts lookin’ for babes. LIVIN THE LIFE!
The father-of-eight and a former Jon & Kate Plus 8 star has a day job, working in construction, but last night Gosselin proved he also has a talent for spinning records.
The 35-year-old was spotted at D.H.H Langel Middle School where he and his current squeeze – Liz Jannetta – kept the party going for the 13 and 14-year-olds. [Radar Online]
Oh.
Now, look, I feel two ways about all this because I feel two ways about everything. On one hand, I’m not exactly crying over the current troubles of two people who dragged all their kids in front of a camera for a couple years in an attempt to make a quick buck. On the other hand, it’s not like I wish them ill, either. They’re both reasonably young, they’ve got long lives ahead of them, and they’ve got a crapload of kids. Whatever mistakes they made before, they’ve got to do something to put food on the table, you know? So, with that in mind, allow me to pass along the following advice: Kate, cruises are dumb because the ocean is terrifying. Maybe think about a bus tour instead. Jon, next time you’re DJing, play “Poison” by Bell Biv DeVoe. That song is awesome. You are both welcome.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/51/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/TLC1-1343750947-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/buscemi-tattoo-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/RATS-NO-NOPE-JESUS-CHRIST-NOPE-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/armisen-150x150.png)
So my question is this – which cruise line was dumb enough to think this idea would work?
Carnival Cuntlines?
I’ll give you a piece of advice. Smack it up. Flip it. Rub it down.
Oh no!
If “Poison” doesn’t get the crowd moving, I suggest you leave. If that is not an option, try H Town’s “Knockin the Boots”.
If you post “Poison,” you have to post the Turk dance. I thought everyone was clear on this!
POW
Seconded.
Must. Learn. Turk-dance.
RealTalk: Dance Central + Kinect pretty much teaches you the dance
I’m ashamed for actually believing Mr. Gosselin was a hot DJ until the .5 seconds that I got to that next sentence.
In a week where networks are choosing their fall schedules and airing their season finales, I was absolutely dieing to come to this blog and read about Jon and Kate Gosselin! Know your readers.. for your health!
*dying
Yeah especially since websites only have room for one story a day, so posting this article bumped the fall schedule stories right off.
There should never be room for Jon and Kate stories.
BBD+Turkdance = readers known
It is known.
I disagree, SBigs. It’s almost embarrassing how much gratification I get from the knowledge that they’ve become miserable failures. Almost.
Man, can’t anyone proofread anymore?
Someone accidentally put an “s” on the end of “cruise-goer”.
Reached for comment, Kate replied, “At least I’m not Octomom, right?”
At least he has an actual job and isn’t clinging to the fame-whore life.
Wasn’t he like in IT? Now he’s in construction?
So Jon’s doing a day’s work and earning a paycheck and Kate is … what, now?
Waitin for DA FIRST OF DA MONTH.
Why is it that in the eventual TV movie made about their lives, I see Danny McBride in the role of Jon, doing blow in a high school locker room in preparation for his “big DJing gig”?