The Social Security Administration released their list of the most popular baby names in 2011 yesterday, and if it’s any indication of American culture, which it is, it means that we love our Kardashians and reality TV shows. Which we, SIGH, do. We also hate the name Brisa, for some reason.
[Kourtney] Kardashian, the reality TV star, gave birth to Mason in December 2009 following a heavily publicized pregnancy. In 2010, Mason jumped from No. 34 to No. 12. Last year, 19,396 baby boys were named Mason, an increase of nearly 4,600 [to #2), by far the biggest jump for any name.
The fastest rising name for girls: Briella, which jumped 394 spots, to No. 497. Briella Calafiore stars in “Jerseylicious,” a reality TV show about battling stylists at a beauty salon in Green Brook, N.J. She’s also in a spinoff called “Glam Fairy.” (Via)
Here are the following once-popular names I’d rather call my baby than Briella: Mabel, Bertha, Clarence, Mildred, Gladys, Poopy McGee (the 1890s were weird), Harold, and Adolf, a name I hope the Kardashians or shows that end with -Licious don’t ruin. I’ve got big plans for Adolf Kurp.
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Briella isn’t a name. It’s a venereal disease.
Sounds like something you’d spread on a piece of toast to me.
It’s something Rihanna might chant wile repeatedly thrusting her… b-brrrr, never mind. Venereal disease it is then.
It sounds like a facial scrub made of cheese.
Ugh. I’d rather be named after my Great Aunt Edna than some z-list reality star’s baby.
See, if I were you I’d name my kid Thaddeus Ulysses, or something like that, so that his initials would be T.U. Kurp, which is an anagram of “Kurupt,” and therefore a frickin’ sweet name.
Except everyone would call him Thad. And there’s no way Thad doesn’t get picked last for everything.
It makes no difference what the U and the T stand for. They could stand for Urim and Thummim for all that matters. Or maybe something cool like “Ultimate Traveler.”
Or Urinary Tract…
MC Kurupt is here to say, get ready to be Kurp-stomped.
that totally doesn’t rhyme.
Been meaning to ask: is your name a matchbox 20 reference?
yeah, it was given to me by a drunken friend while watching mallrats around the time they were on the radio.
Whenever I have a daughter, I look forward to the day when I get to tell her she was named after a prostitute from A Game of Thrones. That, or we’ll go with Sally.
I’m making sure one day people know my kid’s the boss and calling her Khaleesi.
Jon Snow would be a good name for a son, just because you could end every argument with, “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”
There’s no good comeback for that one.
Let’s remember in 2013 to check to see how far down the list Joffrey drops.
Would it be inappropriate to name a son ‘Kingslayer?’
no, but Kinslayer would be a great way to keep his or her siblings on their toes.
Thanks for the link below, Mel.
Joffrey was the 29,239th most popular name in the U.S. for 2011.
This is so exceedingly depressing for me because my dumb c-word sister-in-law contributed to those 19,396 Masons. Even before that every Mason I’ve ever known was a creepy weirdo.
This is upsetting since we used Mason for my son’s middle name when he was born in Sept 2009
That dude might have the douchiest face I’ve ever seen. That banner picture alone makes me want to cause him physical harm.
Also, wasn’t Jacob #1 for boys and Isabella #2 for girls? Thank you, Twilight.
For some reason his face makes me think of a combination of Pete Campbell and Patrick Bateman.
yeeeech, I need to go take a shower to clean off the stare.
I made a comment how it was dumb to name kids after twilight to my cousins baby mama, turns out she likes twilight and she was a complete bitch to me from then on. Also her boys middle name is Jacob though it is a family name.
MattK, you are still 100% correct and she is an idiot. I assume you are better off with her being a bitch to you.
That guy is a dead ringer for Patrick Bateman. Right down to the haircut.
I’m getting sick of guys named Todd. It’s just a goofy fucking name, Todd. “Hi, I’m Todd. And this is Blake, Blair, Blaine, and Brent”. Where are all these goofy fucking boys names coming from? Taylor, Tyler, Jordan, Flynn. These are not real names. Eddie is a real name. Not Todd, Cody, Dillion, Cameron, and Tucker. Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks. And fuck tucker’s friend Kyle. There’s a soft name for a boy, Kyle. I’ll bet you anything that 10 times outta 10 Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit outta Todd, Kyle, and Tucker.
– George Carlin.
Todd, Tad, Tadpole!
Bort is the 202,138th most popular name.
[names.whitepages.com]
We need more Bort license plates.
So anyway. I says to Mabel, I says …
TIS, replied Aunt HELGA…
Only TWO Aiden-rhyming names in the Top 10? You’re slipping, America!
It’s a good thing that I won’t be having children, because I have this idea that they couldn’t share a name with anyone I know OR any well known douchebags. Trying to come up with a name that fits those criteria and doesn’t sound ridiculous sounds exhausting.
Hodor?
Wonder where Katniss will end up on next year’s list.
This just in: people who shouldn’t reproduce continue to reproduce. More on this story as it develops.