Watching TV can be so damn time consuming, and especially where it concerns network television, it's often not worth it. Sometimes we will begin a television series but we're not invested enough in the outcome to follow it through. Nevertheless, there's a certain nagging curiosity some of us may have about how the show has progressed or has resolved, but it's not nagging enough to actually put in the effort to watch. This is where I come in. Here are some very brief spoilers to 12 television series that you may have given up on. I will place non-spoiler images in front of each description so that, should you want to do so, you can avoid the spoilers on individual shows. I should note that, because I plan on catching up with them over the summer myself and don't want to be spoiled, there are no spoiler-caps to "Fringe" and "Once Upon a Time."
Castle -- "Castle" is a show I stuck with for the better part of three seasons because I'm a huge Nathan Fillion fan. But after last season's ridiculous season finale -- in which Kate was shot and Castle confessed to her that he loved her while he thought she was dying -- I gave up on the show. The will they/won't they relationship between Castle and Beckett that bookended each season wasn't enough to sustain a fairly banal procedural. I wasn't surprised to learn, however, that it took the ENTIRE season for a payoff to last season's finale. Apparently, Kate ignored Castle's admission all season long, and only waited until this year's season finale -- when they were tracking down the guy who shot Kate last season, and who is tied to the murder of Kate's mother (a murder that is still unsolved) -- to reciprocate. “He got away, and I didn’t care,” she said in the finale. “I almost died, and all I could think about was you. I just want you.” With that, Kate and Castle are finally a couple, and I'm sure the series will only get progressively worse as they slowly move through the stages of their dating relationship culminating in an eighth season wedding when they will FINALLY solve the murder of Kate's mother.
Desperate Housewives -- I watched the opening season of Marc Cherry's "Desperate Housewives" because it was a somewhat novel show at the time. It's been so long, and it's gotten so bad, I have no idea why I once considered it novel. The series finally ended after eight seasons, and if you know who the main characters are, this is all you need to know: After attempting to confess to a murder she didn't commit to save a friend, Bree (Marcia Cross) was acquitted when someone else confessed. In the epilogue, Bree moved to Kentucky and became a state legislator. Meanwhile, Gaby (Eva Longoria) quit her time-consuming job to spend more time at home with her husband (still Carlos), and they started their own personal shopping website and moved to California and lived happily ever after. Lynette (Felicity Huffman) reunited with her husband, Tom (who I believe has been her husband the entire series) and they moved to New York where she became a CEO of a company. Susan's (Teri Hatcher) daughter had her own baby and Susan moved away from Wisteria Lane. Oh, and Mrs. McCluskey -- who you may remember as Mrs. Landingham from "West Wing" -- confessed to the murder at the center of the episode, even though she didn't commit it, and then she died. Oh, and also: That blonde lady with all the plastic surgery: She was killed off last season, I believe.
Revenge -- Again, a show that was heralded by critics early on and grew stale quickly. For those like me who quit at midseason, the finale did absolutely nothing to persuade me to return to the show. It was nothing but soap-opera cliffhangers piled on top of cliffhangers, most notable of which was the fact that Victoria (Madeleine Stowe) appears to have blown up in an airplane on the way to testify against her husband for killing Emily's father. Meanwhile, Charlotte (the Grayson daughter) attempted to commit suicide and her fate is left unknown. Also, Amanda -- the woman who took Emily's old identity -- is pregnant with Jack's baby (Jack is the guy that Emily is secretly in love with). Emily and Daniel have also broken up. Finally, Emily is now in search of her missing mother.
Modern Family -- Most of you who watch "Modern Family," probably stuck with it until the end, but if not, Cameron and Mitchell were not able to adopt a new baby. However, Gloria (Sofia Vergara) is pregnant.
The Office -- If you were smart enough to quit the show many seasons ago, you should know that it's somewhat reset itself. Robert California (James Spader) is out as CEO and David Wallace bought the company and turned the manager's job back over to Andy. That means that Nellie (ugh, Catherine Tate) is no longer Dunder Mifflin branch manager, but she still does have a job with the company.
House -- I watched a few seasons of "House" but gave up several years ago after it devolved into a repetitive procedural. In the series finale, basically House fakes his death to avoid going to prison for a prank and decides, instead, to spend all of his time with his best friend, Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) who has only a few weeks left to live.
How I Met Your Mother -- I still have a lot of affection for the show, even though I know many people have bailed in part because they can't stand Ted and because the bad episodes are really bad. The twist in the season finale really wasn't that much of a surprise, though it was kind of sweet: The wedding in which Ted will eventually meet his wife is that of Barney and Robin, as it is revealed that Robin is the bride we got a glimpse of oh so long ago. Also, Ted drove off with his old flame Victoria on her wedding day, proving once again what a huge douche Ted is, breaking up a wedding even though the same thing had happened to him with devastating consequences. The clincher, of course, is that Victoria won't be the mother because Ted first meets his wife at Barney's wedding.
Big Bang Theory -- I've seen maybe three episodes in the entire run, enough to know who Howard (Simon Helberg) is. He married Bernadette Rostenkowski (Melissa Rauch) and took a Russian rocket to the International Space station. Naturally.
Parks and Recreation -- I hope to hell you watched this because it's the best comedy on network television now, including "Community." If you didn't, Leslie Knopes (Amy Poehler) bested Paul Rudd's character in the city council election and Ben (Adam Scott) took a job in a Senate campaign in D.C. But don't worry: Leslie and Ben will make the long-distance relationship work.
Grey's Anatomy -- It's been a very long time since I saw an episode of "Grey's Anatomy," and I barely recognize many of the actors involved with the show. However, the big shocker at the end of the season was the death of Lexie (Chyler Leigh), who died in a plane crash.
Glee -- I quit watching "Glee" at after the end of the first season, and I probably should've quit much sooner. Rachel got into a theater college in New York City. Kurt and Finn did not get into college. Santana declined her admission. Puck passed high school by the skin of his teeth, and Brittany did not. Mercedes got a contract as a back-up singer and is going to UCLA. Finn broke up with Rachel on their wedding day so that she could pursue her dream, and Finn enlisted in the Army.
Awake -- The series finale to "Awake" was outstanding, and I'm not going to reveal what it was. Why? Because even though the show was canceled, the season finale works just as well as a series finale, and when "Awake" shows up on Netflix, it is a perfect 13-episode show to watch over the summer. You can join me in whining about its cancellation over the next few years.
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Grey’s Anatomy: However, the big shocker at the end of the season was the death of…
Should have been you, entire cast of characters on Grey’s Anatomy.
I got a text from my mom while the Grey’s finale was airing telling me that she hopes I wasn’t “being mean about it on the internet.”
So “Awake” was good for its entire run? I absolutely loved the premiere, and while I’m assuming the rest of the season wasn’t as good, I’m glad to hear it was still solid. Will check out.
There was no way the rest of the season could have lived up to the premiere, which I thought was perfect. Most of the episodes in the middle are kinda boring and enter procedural territory, but it’s worth watching for the premiere, a couple of episodes in the middle and the last 3 episodes, which were also great.
It lagged in a couple episodes, but by and large it did manage to maintain its momentum through the very end. Another season might have been a stretch, but it’s really worth watching it all just to get to the finale. Solid.
Yup, Prax is dead-on. Probably about half the season was comprised of overall middling episodes, but the other half was highly entertaining and clever, and the show finished very strong.
Epilogue? The prologue would have been before the series started.
David Wallace? Really? I thought he was broke/jobless.
no shit, this is how he came back
remember a few years ago when Michael Scott visited him and he invented some sort of vacuum? Well he sold this vacuum to the military (?) and made millions (?), then Andy ran into him randomly and convinced him to buy Dunder Mifflin Scranton from Sabre (?). Seriously.
Modern Family and a new baby…the TV trope that usually signals that writers have run out of fresh ideas (with a very small handful of exceptions).
Oh, pregnancy jokes about growing boobs. I can see you coming a mile away.
“Modern Family” never really had any fresh ideas in the first place.
I need to find out how Awake ended. I really don’t feel like watching the show.
Go to Alan Sepinwall’s blog at HitFix.
thanks
I imagine the writers of How I Met Your Mother write the characters as somewhat reflections on themselves. Whoever is reflected in Ted Mosby is a f*cking dickface and should die.
Started on Revenge half way through, it was okay but you can tell they will just drag it out. No way the Grayson mom will be dead.
Awake was fantastic from start to finish. I wish TNT would “Southland” that show, but there’s been no talk of it so probably not.
I love this idea. I’m always looking up spoilers for shows I stopped watching. Embarrassingly enough, I already had checked TWOP to see what happened on Desperate Housewives. Even more embarrassingly, I stuck it out with those botoxed harpies partway into season three, I believe.
What else is there to cover on Awake? After the finale, what else is there to cover?
My PnR theory:
Ben will fail in DC and will return to Pawnee. He did an excellent job running Leslie’s campaign but she was an amazing candidate and he loves and believes in her. Barkley, however, is a cold-hearted operative who rarely gives a fuck. Ben is far too moral, too nice to succeed in the cut throat world of DC politics. He will become disillusioned and will return to Pawnee to work for Leslie and they will continue to bone.
Also, fuck Ted Mosby.
Thank you so much for doing this! I gave up on about three of these shows and this was the perfect way to catch up. Great idea!
The House finale made a certain amount of sense in that 1) It showed his characteristic disregard for his peers in that they all think he’s dead for real, 2) It was a clever way out of a story in which he was going to have to be back in jail while Wilson spent his last days alone.
So at this point, if there were some kind of aftermath of this a year down the line, Wilson would be dead, House is in jail or somewhere under an assumed name, and the rest of the folks were pretty much buttoned up with vague general directions (Chase left, Cameron is married to someone and has a kid, Taub is still father to babies by two women, etc).
So the only guy you are left to wonder about is House himself, starting right after Wilson’s imminent demise.
I was wondering about House, and mildly curious about Modern Family and Revenge (which, despite its gorgeous leading lady, I never could convince myself to watch). The Desperate Housewives finale was the first episode of that show I ever watched. It fit my impression of the show quite well. Anyway, cool feature. Thanks, Dustin.
They might use Ben’s experiences in DC as a way to contrast how not slimy Leslie is, despite all of the compromises she will have to undergo to govern. In other words, Ben is around some really slimy stuff, and then Leslie’s stuff comes off as low stakes, and so it keeps its comedic edge.
“nothing but soap-opera cliffhangers piled on top of cliffhangers”
So Revenge is a lot like Lost just sans magic donkey-wheel
Bonus: Hiroyuki Sanada has appeared in both series, so there you go.
Even though I have the entire run of Awake DVR’d, I still can’t bring myself to watch the third episode. It’s not the show’s fault. I would just rather get stoned and watch old episodes of the Larry Sanders Show on Netflix. But a big thank you for not revealing the ending! Even though I have every intention of watching the episodes I’m too weak-willed to resist spoilers and you pulled the rug out from underneath my feet. Bravo!