New Girl (FOX) – Season finale. The gang gets stuck in the desert on tonight’s episode, which guest stars “Reno 911!’s” Thomas Lennon. If he appears in character as Lt. Dangle and tries to help them back home, it will make me unreasonably happy.
Unforgettable (CBS) – Season finale. This is that show with the lady from the other show, except in this show she remembers everything and refuses to solve crimes by the book. Ask your parents.
Cougar Town (ABC) – I kinda wish they would just go ahead and move this show to TBS. It’s like a cheesy rom-com at this point. ABC is the bad boy the show thinks it wants even though the network treats it like sh-t and may have hooked up with its best friend, and TBS is the nice guy next door who just wants to make it happy. It will star Kate Hudson, and the trailer will feature the song “Two Princes.”
The L.A. Complex (CW) – According to the summary, one character is already thinking about giving up her dreams and leaving L.A. We’re like three episode into the season. Jesus. Toughen up, girl.
The Voice (NBC) – Two-hour finale. “Christina Aguilera, Cee-Lo, and Adam Levine walk into a bar…” would be a fun way to start out a joke.
AFI’s Master Class – The Art of Collaboration: Russell-Wahlberg (TCM) – An examination of the films that David O. Russell and Mark Wahlberg have done together. I love that “master class” and “Mark Wahlberg” are being thrown around together. It’s about time if you ask me.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Johnny Depp and Casey Wilson on Kimmel; Jim Parsons on Letterman; Steven Tyler and Jamie King on Ferguson; Rick Santorum and Taylor Kitsch on Leno; Cameron Diaz and Michael Phelps on Fallon; and Piers Morgan and Ben Falcone on Conan
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God, my fucking tolerance for Zooey Deschanel has hit an all-time low and then – to compound matters – I saw the “simply adorkable” tagline above and then that fucking phone advert on the TV. Engage “anger mode”
[www.funnyordie.com] you will either find this hilarious or hate it
I hated that video watanabex, as do I the actual commercials, because siri never works that well.
Thats what just set me off, as well.
I can’t stand her either and what really pisses me off is New Girl is actually a pretty good show. Schmidt and Nick are hilarious!
There’s nothing reasonable about Lt. Dangle.
Christina Aguilera, Cee-Lo, and Adam Levine walk into a bar… Cee-Lo says to Adam Levine, “Hey, I’ll make a bet with you, and if I win, you pay for all my drinks tonight,” and Adam Levine says, “Okay, what’s the bet?”
Cee-Lo says, “I bet you that I can stick my dick in Christina Aguilera’s mouth for five minutes, and then pull it back out totally unharmed.”
Adam Levine says, “That’s a bet.”
So Cee-Lo sets up Christina Aguilera on a barstool, unzips his pants, pulls out his dick, and sets it right next to Christina’s mouth. SNAP! Christina Aguilera’s mouth clamps right onto it.
As the time passes, everyone else in the bar gathers around to see the spectacle. Finally after five minutes, Cee-Lo grabs a beer bottle off the bar, and smacks Christina Aguilera across the nose with it. Christina’s mouth jumps open, and Cee-Lo pulls his dick out, completely unharmed. The entire bar bursts into applause.
Adam Levine says, “Well, a bet is a bet. I guess I’m paying for your drinks tonight.” Cee-Lo says, “I appreciate it. Hey man, you want to try it?”
Adam Levine says, “Sure, just as long as you don’t hit me with the beer bottle afterward.”
Levine got hustled – what about the herpes?
“…one character is already thinking about giving up her dreams and leaving L.A. We’re like three episode into the season.”
Obviously they watched the show! *rimshot* *kazoo solo* *eruption guitar played on armpit*
Remember that old Abbott & Costello gag where that dude goes into a murderous rage when he hears “Niagra Falls?”
Adorkable is my Niagra Falls
Aw, I miss Reno 911.
Tuesdays were once awesome. The only way tonight would be interesting is if Letterman killed Parsons with a tennis racket.
I can’t figure out how Canada is getting Parks and Rec so early. I just know Ron Swanson is furious about it.
You want a real kick in the head? They get James Van Der Beek as an aspiring screenwriter losing his mind in prime time tonight on the sci fi channel. I’d emigrate if I hadn’t already been deported.
I still do not understand why I dislike New Girl so much.