America’s Got Talent (NBC, 8 p.m.) – Season premiere, now with more Howard Stern and less Piers Morgan. And yet: I would only watch this if Fartman makes his triumphant return to TV, and rips huge, juicy ones while standing in front of Howie Mandel’s face. That’s talent.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) – One-hour season finale. Marshall and Lily FINALLY have the baby they’ve been talking about since, like, the pilot, and Barney’s wife is revealed. This hasn’t been a great season of “How I Met,” but it’s still reliably charming and the only thing worth watching on CBS not called “The Good Wife.”
House (Fox, 9 p.m.) – Olivia Wilde returns as Thirteen. Expect a full GIF breakdown on Friday (though it will never be as good as this).
Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9 p.m.) – Season finale. Tonight’s episode has “Al-Qaeda!” in the title, so you know it’s going to be funny.
Smash (NBC, 10 p.m.) – Season finale. Hey, remember those incessant promos that aired during the Super Bowl? Those certainly were annoying. And, um, airplane food…(I got nothing, folks.)
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Adam Scott and Tenacious D on Letterman; the Kardashians on Leno; Mila Kunis, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Rashida Jones (in Scotland!) on Ferguson; Gordon Ramsay and Willie Nelson on Fallon; and Chelsea Handler and Billy Eichner on Conan.
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Howie Mandel must have been so grossed out that he had to touch Sharon Osbourne and Howard Stern. Or, he would have been if the whole picture wasn’t photoshopped, anyway.
I just like Nick Cannon doing the “heh heh, THESE guys.” thumb.
Wow, you managed to type “Kardashians on Leno” without descending into an expletive-filled rant. That’s some steely resolve.
It is a little like typing Terrorists guest on Hitler.
Only because I was in a good mood after “Adam Scott and Tenacious D on Letterman.”
I read that phrase in the context of “as the manhunt continued, the police had no choice but to unleash the Kardashians on Leno.”
Willie Nelson is covering Pearl Jam’s “Just Breathe” on Fallon tonight. If that’s your thing.
When the end comes in December, I think we’ll all look back to the Kardashians on Leno and know that we really deserve it.
You meant to say America’s “talent” right? With like the most exaggerated air quotes ever, right?
Olivia Wilde back on TV = return of pants-less Mondays.
To be honest, on the few occasions when I’ve been forced to watch that show, I’ve seen some impressive acts.
AHH Rashida Jones and Craig Ferguson are so awesome together! In fact, the entire CBS talkshow lineup looks unprecedentedly great. I like all five of those people/groups.
also Bourdain going to finland tonight
Seriously though…that Ted douche needs to tell us who the chick with the yellow umbrella is.
Was I the only one who, throughout the first episode of HIMYM last night, kept saying..”Community did it better” over and over again in regard to the stories/made-up flashbacks they were doing?
I probably was.