What’s On Tonight: You Can Never Have Enough Beek

Betty White’s Off Their Rocker (NBC) — If you’re tuning into NBC tonight to watch “Best Friends Forever,” don’t bother. It’s been pulled, and in its place, you can watch two episodes of Betty White’s prank show. Or you could shoot yourself in the face.

Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23 (ABC) — The only problem I’m finding so far with this show is that James Van Der Beek doesn’t get enough screen time. Honestly, the entire show should just be about Van Der Beek, his gay assistant, and their rollicking adventures on the deep blue sea.

Law and Order: SVU (NBC) — I would not normally recommend an “L&O” procedural, but tonight’s episode guest stars … James Van Der Beek. I hope he plays himself.

Modern Family (ABC) — “Modern Family” FINALLY returns tonight to finish out the season with a few new episodes. “Modern Family” should also bring on James Van Der Beek … as Manny’s murderer. Seriously, that kid is the worst. Manny couldn’t sell a line to Lindsay Lohan.

Survivor (CBS) — The show is down to one last man: Horrible, annoying Tarzan, who I’m sure the women will try to keep because he’s the perfect guy to take to the end because no one would ever vote to give him $1,000,0000. The other finalist could behead Jeff Probst, and she’d still win if she went to the end with Tarzan. For Christ’s Sake, he’s a plastic surgeon who calls himself Tarzan. Where do they find these a**holes?

Whitechapel (BBC American) — Anyone watch this show? Is it any good? I’m a sucker for great British cop shows, doubly so for one that stars “MI:5′s” Rupert Penry-Jones.

LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Letterman has Johnny Galecki, Leno has Scarlett Johansson, William H. Macy is on Kimmel, Angelica Huston is on Ferguson, Amy Poehler is on Fallon (that should e good), and Wingnut Senator, Tom Coburn, is on “The Daily Show.”