CBS, which is the top-rated network among all viewers for the reasons that I explained yesterday, is introducing only four new shows to their geriatric slate of procedurals: One bad comedy, and one iffy drama, and two bad procedurals, one of which makes me want to strangle kittens.
Here are previews of all four, from bad to really bad. WARNING: The last one may make your blood boil.
Partners -- Strike One: Flaming Gay Stereotypes. Strike Two: Sophia Bush as a credible comedic actress. Strike Three: Laugh track. No thanks, even if it does have Brandon Routh, and even if it is loosely based on the relationship of the real-life writer/creators of "Will and Grace."
Vegas has fantastic cast: Michael Chiklis, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Dennis Quaid. But wait? Let me get this straight: Dennis Quaid is the sheriff of 60's-era Vegas, and he rides a horse? And he's going up against a transported Chicago mobster? Is this CBS's attempt to combine "Boardwalk Empire" with "Deadwood" and "Mad Men"? This is not a show; it's a genre mash-up. Leave the mash-ups to "Psych" and "Community," CBS. You're out of your depth.
Made in Jersey -- Oh, a legal procedural. How original, CBS! Where did you come up with that idea? By watching every other show on television? Oh, but this one is different, you say? Because it involves a Jersey girl working at a white-shoe law firm? Ooooh! A fish-out-of-water legal procedural. There's so many layers!
CBS: You disgust me.
Elementary -- I loathe every thing about this show. I want to set it on fire. Joan Watson? Really? And you can't claim to be "pushing the envelope" when the other Sherlock has shoved that envelope up your ass. It's bullsh*t. And you just know, YOU KNOW, there's going to be a romantic tension between Watson and Holmes, and if Arthur Conan Doyle were alive to see this, he'd shoot himself in the head just so he could properly roll over in his grave.
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CBS’s Sherlock is basically the Asperger’s kid from “Big Bang Theory.”
I’m surprised they didn’t just call him Sheldock.
If they went with Sheldcock they might have grabbed some 2 1/2 Men viewers, because his name is “edgy”. And “penisy”.
Made in Jersey, oh i get it. She’s probably not as prim and proper as her colleagues, but I bet her street smarts and no-nonsense attitude will shoot her straight to the top as she gets help from her (no doubt enormous and somewhat stereotypical) Italian family.
And it’s got some truth to it because, as we all know, everyone from New Jersey looks and sounds like Marisa Tomei from My Cousin Vinny. This actually angers me more than Elementary.
Nice to see secret service agent Ron Butterfield getting work as a caberet host (vegas – 1:30). Way to go against type.
Joan Watson? Was Kato too on the nose?
Jersey lawyer is Tony’s maybe hallucinated girlfriend from Skins! Guys you will only care about this because she got naked on that episode.
I don’t blame CBS. They just respond to the market.
I agree- I blame middle america.
Word.
i bet if they just used Sherlock Holmes as a jumping off point and changed up the names to distance it from the classic, then this would catch on just fine and in no time teenage girls would be obsessed with Jonny Lee Miller the way they are with Matthew Gray Gubler. Meanwhile, all old people who watch CBS would find it funny how “the oriental” and “the limey” get on so well.
Why the hell is Vegas on CBS? I know I’m going to watch it because of the cast, but I hope it’s just good enough to pull ratings so that CBS cancels it but FX or one of the Premiums picks it up and makes it really good.
*pantomimes guns firing and heads exploding for a few awkward seconds, then points to a picture of Carrie-Anne Moss, lifts shirt up as he suggestively raises his eyebrows. Repeats with a picture of Dennis Quaid.*
That one looks like it might not be god awful, in other words I fully expect it to be the best show on CBS by midseason.
Hey! Don’t you bad mouth Sophia Bush! She’s awful purrty
Okay, new rule: Tim Olyphant is the only guy who gets to wear a cowboy hat on TV from now. No exceptions.
Seconded.
Will Vega$ have a dollar sign at the end? Which one is Dan Tanna?
I assumed Vegas was a reboot of that Josh Duhamel NBC show.
Also, “This is definitely a gender change” – No shit Lucy Liu
Being in the UK stops me seeing this, but please someone correct me if I’m wrong in thinking the show should be renamed Jerry Lawler?
Stop making shows about lawyers, we’re not an interesting bunch and most of us think about swallowing our gun on a daily basis.