On Sh*tty Kids
Some kids suck. Some kids are just sh*tty … and I think that some parents just want to [flip off] their kids all the time. As much as you love your kid, there has to be those times, when your kid is being a sh*t, and he’s going ‘Why can’t I have some candy, I wanted a candy,’ and you just wanna go, ‘You know what? F**k you kid, alright? F**k you. How do you like that? F**k you, buddy.’”
On Not Acting Like An Idiot When You’re Raising Your Kid
“I’m not doing a good job of raising my kids. I’m trying, and my goal to to have kids that are better than I am … that’s important, because I think human beings are still evolving … so there’s nothing less than human evolution at stake when you act like an idiot. And if you are an idiot, you should be selected out … by lions.
On Sympathizing With Other Parents
You know when you see a mother someplace, like at McDonalds, and she’s melting down on her kid. She’s like, ‘Shut up. I hate you and you’re ugly.’ And people are sitting around and saying, ‘Oh my goodness. She’s a horrible mother.’ Guess what? Those people aren’t f**king parents. They don’t have kids. Because any parents that are in that store are saying, ‘What did that sh*tty kid do to that poor woman?’”
On Dealing With Questions From Your Kid
“A kid asks [her distraught parent] a question like, ‘Why is the sky blue?’ And her mom is like, ‘Just shut up and eat your french fries.’ And you think, ‘What a terrible mother. Why doesn’t she answer her child? When I have a child I will answer all of their questions. And open their minds to the wonders of the world.’ Well, guess what. You don’t know what the f*ck you’re talking about. You can’t answer a kid’s question. They don’t accept any answer. They’re never like, ‘Oh. Thanks. Now I get it.’ They just keep coming, ‘Why, why, why, why?’ until you don’t even know who the f*ck you are anymore at the end of the conversation.
The Best Parenting Philosophy You’ll Ever Need to Know
“I have one guiding philosophy on raising kids, and it’s an old saying I’ve renovated. ‘Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone, and he’ll figure it out.”
I want more like this!
Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.