Chinese News Report Confuses Fleshlight for a Rare Mushroom

“Xi’an Up Close,” an investigative journalism series that airs in China, recently ran a report about residents of the Liucunbu village digging a “soft, slimy object that looked like a plant” out of the ground. Hard-hitting stuff. The reporter refers to the “meaty object” as a mushroom when, in fact, it’s actually a Fleshlight, the vagina of choice for lonely men everywhere. I might have to update that TV porn stars list.

After the clip hit and took off on the Internet, spurred by Shanghaiist and Reddit, XATV, the station that ran the sexxxy scoop, issued the most courteous, hilariously translated apology ever.

Caused the majority of users and open letter to the audience: you pro! The last night of a news everyone laughed. It has triggered a wide range of forwarding and comments. As our reporter was very young, worldly, this news brought to everyone the discomfort and misleading! Here, we sincerely thank you friends of our program, criticism and correction. Pro, please forgive us once negligence. (Via)

OK, but WHO BURIED A FLESHLIGHT IN THE GROUND? We’re only getting half the story here. China, you’re a developed country: “CSI” the hell out of that Fleshlight, and find out the identity of the fun guy (FUNGI???) who buried an artificial vagina in the middle of a sleepy Chinese village. While this case remains unsolved, I s’pore I won’t be able to sleep, though that’s also because I’ve um…misplaced…a special friend of mine. Has anyone seen a device that looks like a mushroom with a mouth?