CASE #1: Hot Lady Cop
OK so this is a case about a hot lady cop who arrested one of Franklin and Bash’s bros because he was partying at the beach in a gladiator costume during the Kegman Triathlon which sounds great so we should do it because CHUGGING BEERS OUTSIDE IS EPIC and so is WEARING COSTUMES. The dudes go to talk to hot lady cop and Bash was all “You’re too hot to be a cop so he didn’t think you were a cop he just thought you were a slut in a cop costume no offense but, for real, A+ body, toots” and the hot lady cop was like “I had to tase him because he escaped my sexy arm bar submission and that is resisting arrest p.s. I am very serious so please stop hitting on me” which, I mean, come on bros. She totally wants it. So then Bash goes to some bar and is like “Yo I was serious you’re hot let’s drop this whole thing” and she is all “Stand up I am going to put you in my sexy submission” and she does and there is MAD SEXUAL TENSION which continues when they go to court even after Bash’s excellent strategy backfires and he has to admit she’s good at her job or something.
Then later they go to court again and Bash goes “Your sexy submission couldn’t have worked because he was slippery from suntan lotion and once someone helps me put some on I will show you” and then he looks at Franklin and Franklin’s like “I love you but no way, no homo” so Bash puts on the gladiator costume in court and sprays the lotion on himself and GUESS WHAT he slips out of the sexy submission so their bro goes free because it’s not a crime to fight cops if you think they’re just sluts in costume who can’t restrain you because you’re slippery. Trust me bros, I passed Criminal Justice so I know (C’S GET DEGREES). After the trial Bash walks up to the hot lady cop and is like “Seriously though we should bone” and she’s like “I am not going to bone you because I take my job very seriously and boning a defense attorney who just questioned you is not something a serious cop would do even if she is very hot” but then she’s all “PSYCH LET’S BONE” so I was right. She wanted it all along.