CASE #2 – Bash’s Hot Mom Did Something
The second case wasn’t really a case because it was just about Bash’s mom selling her house and then getting sad about it and wanting it back so Dick Lawyer was like “I am an expert at real estate so I will help you” and she was all “OK deal and also I am a cougar like I was in Wedding Crashers so I’m going to say and do sexy things in the process even though I am old.” So Bash’s mom comes around a lot and whatever and I guess it was important but to be honest I didn’t pay attention that much because the episode was lame so I started working my lats but I guess she got to keep the house due to cow crossing or something.
You know who has a hot mom? My boy Steez. She and his dad got a divorce a few years ago and so she’s been going to the gym and she got a boob job and now she’s all BA-DOW. One day she came over to drop off some brownies and she was wearing yoga pants and giant-ass sunglasses and I was like “You must be Steez’s sister” even though I knew it was his mom because that is a flattering thing to say to old chicks and then she took off her sunglasses and looked at me and said “Well aren’t you sweet” and BROS I think she wants it. Not even joking, bros. I haven’t decided how to play this yet because I know it’s bros before hoes but I also know Steez would get mad if I called his mom a ho so maybe that doesn’t apply here. I have much to ponder bros but I’m probably just gonna nail her because that would be EPIC.