
[stops sweeping chimney]
‘Allo dere, guvnah. Can I interest ya in story? Oy can?! ACES! ‘Ere goes. Didja ‘ear about tha bloke from America? The one on the telly ‘oo’s always drinkin’ an’ smokin’ an ‘avin’ a go wiff all the birds in New York, givin’ em the ol’ two-fingah love tickle? Yeah, Jon ‘Amm, ‘at’s da one. ‘Ee got robbed, ‘ee did.
Jon Hamm and his girlfriend, Jennifer Westfeldt, were robbed during a London trip earlier this month, a source tells Life & Style.
“They were dining at a restaurant and Jennifer’s purse was snagged by someone,” the source reveals to Life & Style. “That person took the hotel key in Jennifer’s purse, which had the hotel name on it, and robbed their room. They had to contact the police, it was horrible.”
Jennifer confirmed the devastating news to Life & Style.
“What a mess,” she told Life & Style at Tropfest New York on June 23. “[I'm not feeling] great. It is under investigation.” [Life & Style]
A real shame, ‘iss one is. Roight ‘ere in London, too. Leff ‘em wiff nuffin’ but their knickers. Oy’ll tell ya, it’s gettin’ to da point where a chap can’t even feel safe in ‘is own ‘ome, anymore. ‘At’s why oy juss moind moy own business, up ‘ere’ on ‘iss roof, sweepin’ chimneys. Maybe oy’ll grab a pint wiff my mates at the pub when Manchestah’s on, but ‘at’s it. Oy don’t go lookin’ fa trouble, and trouble don’t come lookin’ fa me. ‘At’s my motto, it is, an’ it ‘asn’t steered me wrong yet.
Well, best get back to me sweepin’. Cheers.
[continues sweeping chimney]



He was also robbed by Danger for not referring to him as World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals fan Jon Hamm.
Don’t suppose the robbers would be interested in selling me one of Jon Hamm’s t-shirt? Really want to get back at George Costanza.
If there was a sex tape stolen from that hotel room, The Internet better be ready to move to DEFCON 1.
I like how Westfeldt called it a “mess” but Life & Style referred to it as “devastating.” Nice level headed journalism from Life & Style. Also, I’ve already begun my pre-masturbation routine in anticipation of a tape being released.