
Figuring that the world can never really have enough forms of entertainment featuring dudes in their 60s shooting comically large guns, Lionsgate is considering turning The Expendables, Sylvester Stallone’s celebration of his own movies, into a TV show. Hasta la yippe-ki-yay, ADRIAN, is how Lionsgate CEO Jon Feltheimer is hoping you’ll respond to the news. But we can do you one better, Jon: we’re going to cast the show for you. The logical thing to do would be to set it in the past, so you can have hunky YOUTHS playing the protagonists, rather than Crews and Crew. But there’s no fun in that. So, just like The Expendables, we’re going to choose old action stars; unlike The Expendables, we’re only picking old action stars who worked on TV in the 1980s.
So far I’ve got: Daniel Hugh Kelly, monkey with a gun from “Quantum Leap,” Dishpan Man on “The A-Team,” the Fatman but NOT Jake, ALF, Zombie Manimal, and Angela Lansbury. Who else? Oh wait:

Yeah.



Not really an action star, but this kid is available. Could probably get him cheap for janitorial duties, too.
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Bruce is clearly smiling in that picture because he’s so happy to still have his own face.
BTW – I just watched The Expendables again this week. It is glorious. I will hear no arguments.
I’m fairly certain those are wax statues.
Three words: Fred Fucking Dryer
Also, if Tom Selleck doesn’t play the Stallone part, I’ll eat my mustache.
Fred Hunter?
Just a tenacious, smashing bastard.
Holy shit. A “Manimal” reference. This is the best morning ever.
I mean Hasselhoff and Ferrigno are just sitting there waiting to be picked.
Hasselhoff as the villian… but he wears a goatee
Ralph Hinkley
John Wesley Shipp
Sammo Hung and Billy Blanks could use the work.
I would suggest people, but have you seen what happens to most TV stars from the 80′s and early 90′s that don’t make it big? I’m depressed now.
Lest we forget David Rasche aka Sledge Hammer
The BOZ
Marc Singer from V!
Jan Michael Vincent or GTFO
Richard Moll as the evil enforcer
Adrian Zmed
*drops microphone on stage*
Both of the titular Simons.
I know it’s from the 90s, but I’ve been watching TekWar a bunch recently, so I’d like to nominate Greg Evigan.
Also, could a Canadian movie meet the exchange rate for an American TV series? If so, we’d definitely need Bruce J. “Zap Rowsdower” Mitchell in some capacity.
I think BJ McKay qualifies as an action star. Just ask Sheriff Lobo.
alan autry (bubba from in the heat of the night) guy was in enough garbage that one of them had to be considered action. he can work with moll as the muscle
The Fat Man? Are you casting The Expandables? (see what I did there?)
I seriously believe Mickey Rourke would have won the Oscar for The Wrestler if had been physically able to move more of his facial muscles.