
The spoon, people. THE SPOON.
See, this is how you pander to Emmy voters. Is it shameless? Yes! But when those old white dudes sit down to vote on Outstanding Reality Show host — a category that Jeff Probst from “Survivor” has won every single year the category has existed — do you think they’re going to remember Phil Keoghan, Tom Bergeron, and Carson Daly? NO. They’re going to remember their erections, and then they’re going to vote for Ryan Seacrest.
But in my heart, I’ll always know who the best reality show host is: The hot woman in the low-cut blouse licking chocolate off of her hands. God knows, it’ll be more successful than this For Your Consideration ad taken out in Variety last year:

A piece of advice: You should probably check the temperature in Hell before you take out a sexy For Your Consideration Ad for Yvonne Strahovski.
Emmy Ballots are due on June 28th. Nominees will be announced in mid-July.



There is no spoon.
Finally, that line makes sense.
What a coincidence, I’ve got something I’d like her to lick… Seriously, it’s this gelato I made last night, it’s really good.
Meh. Needs more Salman Rushdie.
Bourdain sent a picture of himself drunk off his ass and smoking a cigarette on a small wicker boat in Thailand.
Yvonne Strahovski should’ve won just because hot.
It looks like she slit her wrist… and she’s bleeding chocolate. What a delicious demise.
If she bleeds chocolate, I wonder what her other juices taste like?
Jeff Probst has won every single year for Outstanding Reality Show host?? Jeeez, that jerk is so annoying I want to rip his friggin lungs out. He rattles on and on about obvious crap the Survivor contestants are doing right there in competition; has that smug look after reward when he says to the losers, “Sorry guys, I got nothing for you,” like a punky little snot; and dresses like a model for a K-Mart flyer’s ‘Sportsman’ ad, all pressed and clean. Probst makes Carson Daly look preferable, and that flat-head is as entertaining as an umbrella stand (without the charisma)