Poor Ann Curry. She's too cerebral for her own good. Before the departure of Meredith Vieira, Curry was a very adept news reader on the "Today" show, but once she was asked to interact with guests and banter with Matt Lauer, she crumbled. The problem, unfortunately, is that Ann Curry has no chemistry. There's some debate about whether she has a soul. She may in fact be the original prototype for Michael Fassbender's David character in Prometheus, before they figured out how to implant the android with a sense of humor. Unfortunately for Curry, people in the morning want to be JAZZED by frivolous small-talk and PUNCHED IN THE GUT with pep.
That's why, according to the New York Times, NBC is having super-secret meetings about replacing Ann Curry as co-anchor (not so secret now, I guess). They are expected to sh*tcan her before the beginning of the Summer Olympics because NBC doesn't want Curry's fumbling attempts at morning-show puns to taint the only chance that NBC has of people actually watching the network.
Savannah Guthrie -- who hosts the 9 a.m. hour -- is the front-runner to take the position, although here are 5 Better (Hotter) Candidates to fill the post.
Amy Robach -- The former host of the weekend edition of "The Today Show," Robach -- who is engaged to Andrew Shue -- recently departed for a correspondent gig over on ABC. She's probably under contract, but if NBC could break it, she's the ideal replacement: Super smart, very charismatic, incredibly attractive, and knows her way around the "Today" show set.
Erin Andrews -- Primarily a sports reporter, Andrews has shown some versatility in some Oscar coverage for "Good Morning America" in 2011. She's smart, she's effervescent, and she'd be great at Olympics coverage. Also, she's very pretty.
Erin Burnett -- She has a long history with CNBC (although, she's now on CNN), and she has a brilliant understanding of politics and the economy (in fact, she began her career as a Goldman Sachs financial analyst). Like Curry, she's very cerebral, but unlike Curry, she has an actual soul. In a news environment currently obsessed with the economy, she's kind of perfect.
Courtney Friel -- Friel is currently an anchor over on Fox News (I won't hold that against her), and while she doesn't have years and years of news experience, she has some as a local news anchor and a "Court TV" host (she also hosted the World Poker Tour). She's a veteran entertainment and sports reporter, and really, how much news do you need to know to be the co-anchor of a morning show? It's mostly celebrity reporting and human interest stories, and that's what Friel is accomplished in. She's also posed for Maxim and FHM, but THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER INCLUSION. Ahem.
Melissa Stark -- Who could be better at replacing Ann Curry before the Olympics than the MSNBC host of the 2008 Beijing Olympics? She knows foreign policy (she has a degree in foreign affairs), she's already worked as a National Correspondent for the "Today" show, and she did sideline reporting for "Monday Night Football." If you're going to make a strong effort to build ratings, you may as well find a co-anchor that can draw some men away from Sportscenter in the morning.
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Counterpoints: Kate Upton, Kate Upton, Kate Upton, Kate Upton, Kate Upton.
Only if she’s never allowed to speak.
Courtney Friel, especially if she wears that outfit.
I first read her as name as Country Fried. I probably need to eat lunch.
I nominate Yoda.
Hire them all. They join together to make some sort of Voltron of Hotness.
The obvious answer is a corgi in a bright, well-tailored blazer.
Someone needs to Photoshop a corgi over Pete Campbell’s dumb face in this picture: [www.gq.com]
Seriously, someone. PLEASE.
Corgi Campbell? Pete Corgbell?
[farm8.staticflickr.com]
Didn’t Andrews have her GMA assignments eliminated because she was so ungodly awful in her Oscars work?
Yup.
[deadspin.com]
I’m sure Hugh Hefner will find something for her to do.
Well, this is just as sexist as Adam Carolla. HARUMPH HARUMPH.
Nigel Tufnal with a response on line 1….
Olivia Munn?
Fawning over Erin Burnett? Brilliant? Has a soul? Really? I mean, she’s hot, but what a dumb cunt. Her coverage of the OWS movement was a fucking joke.
This. She has a brilliant understanding of politics and the economy insofar as she thinks Wall Street types are heroes.
Also: “If you want me to love you, fly my parents business-class to Australia and New Zealand”. Ugh.
I was just about to write that – but you beat me to the punch. Her coverage of Occupy had a real “Let them eat cake” feel, Marie Antoinette interviewing the peasants. She also has an infamous article about “Ten Things To Date Erin Burnett”, and basically unless you’re a billionaire of hedgefund manager, you’ve got no shot with her. She’s arrogant, materialistic, soulless, vapid and I could go on, but I’ll stop there.
Burnett’s commentary on politics and the economy make we want to put a sledgehammer through my TV. This sock puppet is what people think is good financial journalism.
What, no Beadle?….and NBC just hired her.
Bonita Applaebaum, you gotta put her on.
Why not just say “screw it, the only thing people enjoy is hour four” and make it a Kathy Lee/Hoda show? HOW DRUNK CAN THEY GET IN FOUR HOURS ONSCREEN! STAY TUNED AS THEY MOLEST CELEBRITIES AND POLITICIANS! I would tune in occasionally. Which is better than I do now.
Russel Brand. Because I hate you.
I thought I had gotten Erin Burnett out of my system – but she’s literally the walking embodiment of everything that’s wrong with cable news, modern journalism, and financial industry journalism in particular. A reporter is supposed to retain some distance from their subject, to maintain a certain amount of objectivity, and ideally a somewhat adversarial relationship with their industry, so they won’t hesitate to do a story, even if it uncovers uncomfortable truths. Erin Burnett is exactly the opposite, she doesn’t cover the financial industry so much as she’s their mouthpiece, propagandist etc. She’s even married to a hedge fund manager. Same with Maria Bartiromo, hell anybody at CNBC or Fox Business. Think about it, these guys cover the financial industry and they collectively had NO CLUE the financial crisis was coming. Because it’s not journalism, it’s pr, it’s propaganda. And the fact Erin Burnett keeps failing up – makes me crazy. This is why I don’t watch cable news, and why I drink.
+DOW 36,000
She’s f’n’ horrible.
It does bring up an interesting problem, though. Same with sports and entertainment reporting.
It seems that you can either have access or you can have objectivity. They are mutually exclusive. The way those industries are run, you lose access the second you start confronting the big dogs.
This post would go well with my new rap song “Who dat bitch? What she do?”
I think I’m in love…
I forgot about Melissa Stark. Used to be the highlight of MNF.
I mean, outside of the football aspect…. sometimes.
wheres Melissa Stark been, anyway? I feel like after MNF, she just kinda fell off the face of the earth.
Erin Andrews is not hot! Cute sort of, but that heaux is overrated. Where are the non-white chicks?
I don’t know who Erin Burnett is, but that photo clearly shows her on Late Night, holding a conversation with Conan. So she now has my vote.
No Betty Nguyen?? Criminally underused and better than all on list save Courtney Friel and she just left CBS news.
I love me some Mandy Drury- the ozzie business reporter for the today show. Give her a shot!
or, fuck it, NBC, you barely have anything to watch. Next Anchor reality show anyone?