Franklin & Bash (TNT) – Seth Green and Eric Mabius (“Ugly Betty”) appear as a knockoff version of Franklin and Bash, and Cybil Shepherd plays one of the bros’ boss’s ex-wives. It says a lot about me that I have more feelings about that last sentence than I do about the state of our country’s economy.
NBA Finals: Game 4 (ABC) – You guys are all aware that Kevin Durant is starring in a movie about a magic basketball that causes him to trade abilities with a doofy teenager, yes? This is amazing. I am on board.
Rizzoli & Isles (TNT) – One time I almost convinced someone that this show was called “Cannoli & Pizzelles.” It was fun. I recommend you all try it.
Hell’s Kitchen/MasterChef (FOX) – Gordon Ramsay is a total sh-thead and FOX is the worst for giving him a show and they are the double worst for giving him TWO SHOWS, but they do deserve a little credit for scheduing them back-to-back so I can ignore them both in one supersized block instead of over two separate nights. Very efficient.
Hip Hop Squares (MTV2) – According to the listings, Method Man appears tonight. Basketball, lawbros, and now THIS? Tuesday nights aren’t that bad, y’all.
Workaholics (Comedy Central) – From TV Guide: “The guys go up against Montez in small-claims court.” That’s it. That’s the whole description. You’d think such a short, vague description would leave me unsatisfied and unteased, and yet here I am, on the edge of my seat.
Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp (Lifetime) – No.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Sally Field, Kevin Love, and Waka Flocka Flame on Kimmel; Jeff Daniels and Benjamin Walker on Letterman; Steve Carell on Ferguson; Matthew McConaughey and Natasha Leggero on Leno; Michelle Pfeiffer and Cedric the Entertainer on Fallon; Sharon Osbourne and Ashley Fiolek on Conan
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