What’s On Tonight: The Return of Those USA Shows You Not-So-Secretly Like

Burn Notice/Suits (USA, 9 p.m./10 p.m.) – Season premieres. I like these shows being back-to-back because it reminds me of this:

Were I in charge of marketing at USA, I’d run that clip the 22 hours a day new episodes of “Burn Notice” and “Suits” aren’t on, which is precisely why I’m not in charge of marketing at USA.

NBA Finals (ABC, 9 p.m.) – Miami Heat at Oklahoma City Thunder, game two. I think Billy Hoyle described basketball best when he said, “Yo, pretty boy! I looked up basketball player in the dictionary and it said ‘Not you!’” I may have watched White Men Can’t Jump recently.

41 (HBO, 9 p.m.) – George H.W. Bush “discusses his political career, family life, and military service” and probably doesn’t discuss that time his son’s head was on a pike.

Top 10 Mullets (GAC, 10 p.m.) – If Budnick isn’t #1, I will never watch GAC again.

Eagleheart (Adult Swim, 12 a.m.) – My guess: something will explode and it will be funny.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Regis Philbin on Letterman; Penélope Cruz on Leno; Jada Pinkett Smith and Matt Kemp on Kimmel; Don Rickles and Max Greenfield on Ferguson; Paul Giamatti on Fallon; Adam Sandler on Conan; Catherine Zeta-Jones on Stewart; and Steve Coll on Colbert.