‘Modern Family’ Kids Want More Money; Manny Still the Worst

After a lot of tense negotiations, a table-read walk out, and the looming national threat that Sofia Vergara’s low-cut blouse would never return to the airwaves to remind Jay where the goddamn remote control is , the six adult cast members of Modern Family finally settled their contract disputes last Friday. They will each see a raise from $65,000 to somewhere between $150,000 and $175,000 an episode. But just when you thought the long national nightmare was over and we could move on with our lives, enter Manny. Manny is the worst.

Indeed, after their fictional parents all received substantial raises, the children of Modern Family — the worst acting kid cast in the history of television — is now asking for their own raises, according to THR.

Rico Rodriguez, 13, who plays Sofia Vergara’s scene-stealing son Manny; Nolan Gould,13, who plays Julie Bowen and Ty Burrell’s dim-witted son Luke; and Ariel Winter, 14, who plays middle daughter Alex — have had conversations about banding together in a manner similar to the adult negotiations, meaning they could go to 20th TV as a group with uniform salary demands.

These kids, who are not even 15 years old yet, are making around $15,000 an episode. They get paid $15,000 a week to NOT go to school. Instead, they get to hang out with Ed O’Neil and badly repeat lines they read on a piece of paper.

Here was Sofia Vergara’s immediate reaction.

If those kids want a raise, give them a sandwich. Give Manny two, not because he deserves the extra sandwich but because it’ll keep him quiet a little longer. If they raise objections, give them a spanking (God knows Manny needs one). If they continue to object, replace them. If they can replace the dog on the show without anyone knowing, I’m almost certain that no one would notice or care if the kids were replaced.

In fact, 20th Century Fox should simply sit them down and say, “You know what happens to greedy little child actors who ask for more money? Let me tell you a little story about a girl named Becky Conner.”