Robert Blake, the former Baretta star who was found liable in a civil court for the wrongful death of his wife, was a guest on Piers Morgan Tonight last night, and WHOA DOLLY was it is ever bonkers television. Blake was supposedly there to promote his new memoir Tales of a Rascal, but the interview quickly ran off the tracks and devolved into name calling, profanity-laced tirades, and questions about his sanity. It’s riveting.
I suppose if I had to choose my three favorite parts of the interview, they would be the following:
- The part where Blake snaps back at Morgan by saying “You opened the door, Charlie Potatoes.” CHARLIE POTATOES! The official CNN write-up of the interview points out that the name is taken from the 1958 movie The Defiant Ones, and was used to describe “a man who is rich and popular,” but still, you guys, CHARLIE POTATOES. If you don’t think I’m incorporating that into my daily interactions effective sooner than immediately, you are a crazy person.
- The part where Blake says “I made a deal to come here and talk about anybody from the book. I excused you from that deal because I thought you were going to be cool.” Dude. It’s Piers Morgan. What in the entire history of Piers Morgan’s big dumb face being on television would make you think he would be anything but a self-serving sensationalist boob? Come on, Baretta. Step your game up.
- The part where Morgan asks Blake “Are you sane?” during one of his rants and Blake takes exception to it as though he is not sitting there on live television calling people names like Charlie Potatoes while wearing a cowboy hat and a vest with no shirt on underneath it. To paraphrase a great Dave Chappelle bit, maybe he isn’t insane, but he sure as hell is wearing an insane person’s uniform.