
Forbes released their 2012 Highest Paid Actresses list today, and Sofia Vergara beat out a collection of competitors that included Eva Longoria, Tina Fey, and an array of Kardashians to claim the title. Thanks to her role on Modern Family, a number of endorsement campaigns, and a clothing line with KMart, Forbes estimates that Vergara took home $19 million, which isn’t a bad payday for someone whose career resurgence can be attributed mostly to running around in low-cut tops and shouting “AY! JAY! WHAT DO I DO WEETH THEES THEENGY? I’M FROM COLOMBIA!” on one of America’s top-rated sitcoms. Then again, Kim Kardashian earned $18 million over the same period, so, you know, boobs. If I were Amy Poehler — who doesn’t appear anywhere in the top twenty, for the record — I’d be furious.
I do have one issue with this list, however: Kim Kardashian is not an actress. Neither is Khloe Kardashian or Bethany Frankel. They star on reality shows, which by definition does not constitute “acting.” If you’re going to include them, you might as well include Judge Judy. She’s playing a version of herself on television, too, and she makes a hell of a lot more than $19 million. Hey, you know what would be awesome? An episode of Judge Judy where someone sues Kim Kardashian and every time Kim tries to mount a defense Judge Judy lays into her and her stupid toddler-with-a-sinus-infection voice. Yup, I would definitely watch that.
Photo credit: Shutterstock



/reads list
//sees two Kardashians and Bethany Frankel in the top 5
///shoots self
$18 million!
Eighteen Million Dollars! Not Pesos. Not Zimbabwe dollars. US Dollars.
I simply can’t comprehend how that is possible.
It’s days like this where I stare out my office window and silently hope to see the crest of a zombie-wave making it’s way downtown. Seems like we just need to start over.
I misread the headline, thought it said ‘Sofia Vergara is the most Top Heavy TV star in the world”.
Not too far off, though.
Wow…Kaley Cuoco can sit at home and do nothing and will earn $1.5M/yr off reruns of BBT. That’s a hell of an annuity.
Seriously, there are a couple of women on there that I didn’t even know were still on TV, and they earned millions this year from it.
That picture alone is worth $19 million.
How about a gif?
Every so often, when I come in from work and start channel-hopping, I come across an episode of Modern Family. And Ms Vergara bounces her way across the screen, and I seriously reconsider the whole atheism thing.
… Sorry, I’ve been staring at that gif for, like, three and a half minutes.