So. The Teen Choice Awards happened last night on Fox, much to the dismay of those looking forward to months-old Family Guy repeats. (To be fair, Family Guy does have the best ever Teen Choice Awards parody, as seen above, though that’s largely due to a lack of competition.) Professionally speaking *slicks hair soaked in gel*, a lot of stupid people wore a lot of stupid things. The most punch-worthy are below. (Pics via)
Deadmau5 Calls Out Playboy Model On Twitter For Making Awful Dark Knight Rises Joke — (Uproxx)
‘Whatchu Know ‘Bout Goosebumps?’: Video Explains Why The ’90s Kind Of Sucked — (Uproxx)
Ranking The Most Punchable Faces On ‘Rich Kids Of Instagram’ — (Uproxx)
The Superman Man of Steel teasers are now online — (Film Drunk)
Shocking Site News: We’re Perverts — (With Leather)
5 Ideas For The Inevitable New Batman Movie Trilogy — (Gamma Squad)
Remember When LoLa Monroe Used To Get Sorta Naked For A Living? — (Smoking Section)
10 Movies That Had the Misfortune To Open The Same Weekend As A Mega-Blockbuster — (Pajiba)
Quite Simply, The Best Bathroom Sign I’ve Ever Seen — (BuzzFeed)
19 Comedians Confronting Hecklers — (Huffington Post)
Creepy Ex-Lover of the Day — (The Daily What)
The Jeggings Gang Gets Pre-Torn Jeans — (College Humor)
9 Intriguing Excerpts From Old FBI Files — (Mental Floss)
Dear President Obama, please grow some balls and stand up for gun control — (Death + Taxes)
The week’s best photojournalism — (The Week)
Why You Should Never Ask 4chan for Photoshop Help — (HyperVocal)
The ten greatest superhero films of all time — (Fark)
Miss Girls? Here Are 15 Movies and TV Shows You Should Watch in the Meantime — (Unreality Mag)
Spicy Reaction GIFs to the World’s Hottest Vodka — (Guy Speed)
Packers Guard TJ Lang Has a Message For His Co-Workers — (Bro Bible)
But, as ever, Justin Kirk saved the day:
I can’t wait to get home and eat that monkey.
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Does Will.i.am’s jacket come in men’s sizes?
YA’ BURNT.
Teenagers suck.
“Swag, swag, swag, swag, swaggity, swag, swag.” – Justin Bieber, 2012
Fuck this, where’s Breaking Bad commentary?
Do you ever wonder if the situation stops and thinks to himself “I’m a 30 year old man desperately trying to appeal to teenage girls”?
No, I’m pretty sure he thinks: “Yes! I’m a 30 year old man desperately trying to appeal to teenage girls!”
That’s Pauly D. Come on, old timers, get with it. Ya squares!
This presumes that I even looked at the pictures.
Also, you’re pretty accurate anyway. Damn you.
I know it’s not the Situation* in the picture, but if he’s 30 than I clearly don’t understand how numbers work. Dude looks at least 45 and that’s being generous.
*capitalizing that made me hate myself a little
Yay for Justin Kirk, but why was he there? I’m sure any teen who thinks this awards show is a big deal only watch shows on the CW, ABC family or MTV. They ain’t watching Weeds.
Cuz monkeys is good eatz.
He’s got a new show in the fall. He looks so fucking miserable having to be there.
You’d have to be in bad shape not to be happy with a monkey on your shoulder.
Who’s the lesbian in the second picture?