It’s official. The threat that Danger wrote about yesterday has come to fruition: Viacom and DirecTV could not settle their contract dispute, so DirecTV customers (of which I am one) have lost a huge part of the reason we own a cable package: Comedy Central. You’ve also lost the following channels: Nickelodeon, MTV, BET, VH1, CMT, Logo, Spike, TV Land, MTV2, VH1 Classic, Palladia, Nick Jr., NickToons, TeenNick, Tr3s, Centric, MTV India. For the most part, that’s no skin off my back — I’m not going to miss “Jersey Shore” or anything, although if I’m paying $120 goddamn dollars a month, I want ALL the channels I’m paying not to watch.
The dispute, as Danger wrote, is over carrying fees. Viacom wants DirecTV to pay 30 percent more for their channels, and DirecTV doesn’t want to pony it up. Both sides are being a$$holes. Eventually, one assumes, someone will cave, otherwise DirecTV customers may opt for another cable provider. The bad news, unfortunately, is that according to THR, the dispute could last for up to a year. Basically for me, that means weighing Comedy Central versus the NFL Sunday package exclusive to DirecTV.
Specifically, however, what shows are all DirecTV customers going to miss the most?
The Daily Show/Colbert Report — Life without “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” during an election season is like summer without the beach. What’s the point of living? Fortunately, both shows ARE available on Comedy Central’s website.
Futurama/South Park — Likewise, both of these shows are available on the website the next day, but you have to suffer through those interminable, annoying web ads that you can’t skip through.
Awkward — The only show on MTV worth watching, but it’s really good, and the second season is just getting started. Fortunately, this show is available online as well. If the dispute isn’t resolved relatively soon, you may also miss Beavis and Butthead.
Spongebab Squarepants/iCarly/Dora — If you have kids of a certain age, you’re screwed. They’ve outgrown PBS shows, and they don’t like Disney. What are you going to do? Stick in a movie? That’s EFFORT. Send them outside? In this heat? YOU MAY HAVE TO TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN. You have my condolences.
The good news is this whole situation is that at least you’re not a Dish costumer, so you will be able to watch “Breaking Bad” on Sunday.
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Here’s the part where Hulu swoops in to make all the shows that DTV and Dish are forcing their customers to miss out on available on Hulu Plus.
Please?
if hulu plus had workaholics on it, i’d be happy. but its not and now i’m sad.
While I am pissed off about this, the prospect of no more fucking Dora the Explorer in 20 million households is a nice silver lining.
That show is a fucking abomination. I know people think it helps teach kids Spanish, but I’m pretty sure that’s limited to the lesson that “rojo means red!” every fucking episode. It’s just brain rot, pure and simple.
We got so fed up with it that we told our daughter a few months ago that the show went off the air. And now, Daddy’s not a liar!
I’M THE MAP, I’M THE MAP, I’M THE MAP, I’M THE … Hey. HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!??!!!
/Diego sets the map on fire
GAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
I want to see the look on the face of the therapist fifteen years from now as your daughter tells him about the time Daddy reported Dora to the INS.
If that therapist had kids, he’d be too busy writing me a check.
While losing the NFL Sunday Package would suck, the NFL Redzone is also on Comcast.
Personally I think this is the most entertaining channel to watch during football season.
Well damn, how am I supposed to watch Drag U on Logo now?
Thank God I’m not a Dish costumer. Dressing up like a satellite dish all the time would get annoying, especially when trying to walk through doorways.
sorry, my wise-ass side got the better of me.
Palladia? Tr3s? Centric?
Honestly, how many of those did you just make up?
I gotta have my MTV India.
DTV is damned if they do, damned if they don’t. They can either cave and start paying viacom more money for the garbage they air, Comedy Central not included, therefore raising the rates we as customers would have to pay for said sewage.
Or do what they just did and are the bad guys for telling viacom to eat a bag of dicks.
I’m content with DTV and eventually this will all pass. Axe will be beating down Viacom’s doors shortly due to the advertising losses from MTV, MTV2 and Spike alone.
I’m sad for the loss of Comedy Central, but stoked at the possibility of losing Nickolodeon. They air Friends for like 3 hours a day and my wife can’t not watch Friends.
Yes but you also just lost Legend of Korra
Spike too?! But, I just submitted “How many calories do you burn jerking off” to Manswers. Now I’ll never know if they answer it!
Its anywhere between 30 to 100 calories depending on your duration and umm… technique…
Beavis and Butthead isn’t definitely coming back, at least according to Howard Kremer, who writes for the show.
This is a real kick in the balls to people who live in areas with shitty internet access (thanks Hughesnet!). I can’t even stream South Park! Comedy Central was like the one cable network I regularly watched during the horrid sportsless summer. This blows!
Ok, been a long time reader since Matt Ufford started this blog after With Leather, but first time commenting. Viacom took down access to their shows online so DirecTV customers (like myself) can’t watch on other platforms. Just tried the daily show website earlier and it doesn’t work. Just squash the beef already! I want my daily show/colbert report!