In March, Danger told you about Donna D’Errico’s, best known to perverts as Donna Marco on Baywatch (and Baywatch Nights and Baywatch: White Thunder at Glacier Bay) and to everyone else as the host of Battlebots and former wife of walking STD Nikki Sixx, quest to find Noah’s Ark. Well, she’s back. Let’s see how things went.
!!! Either D’Errico got in Carmen Electra’s way while she was rushing to the studio to record her part for Leisure Suit Larry: What’s the Point of Living?, or the expedition didn’t go well. Do tell, block quote:
Former “Baywatch” babe Donna D’Errico is recovering from some painful face injuries she suffered during an expedition to find Noah’s Ark in Turkey.
D’Errico just released some photo…in which the actress appears to be sporting multiple cuts and bruises around her mouth and cheek…and a laceration on her leg.
It’s unclear how Donna suffered the injuries. (Via)
I’m going to guess by looking for Noah’s Ark on a mountain that’s 16,854 feet tall.
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Strange how there aren’t matching pairs of facial injuries.
SPOILER ALERT!!
They don’t find the Ark.
Wow. Noah didn’t wanna be found! No wonder she doesn’t want to talk about it.
“I saw nothing!”
*slams door*
Someone’s looking for a reality show. Your move, Bigfoot.
Noahs Ark. Ha! Christians are adorable.
Was Chris Brown on this expedition too?
What if Chris Brown IS Noah’s Ark?! Dude…
There’s a perfectly good Ark on a soundstage over at Paramount. Ask for Darren Aronofsky. I’m sure he’ll let you take a look, and maybe a ride! He’s a swell guy.
Well she may not have found Noah’s Ark but her face sure does look like she saw the Ark of The Covenant.
More like Noah’s Bark, amirite? Woof!
I spent a month chasing Noah’s Ark and wound up looking like that too.
No, wait. I was chasing Cutty Sark. It’s all kind of a blur.
I think I still have Gena Lee Nolin searching for the Black Obelisk of Shalmaneser III somewhere on my hard drive.
Odd, since it’s always been in the British Museum.
searching for the Ark or hanging out with Brigitte Nielson?
D’ERRICO’S BOYFRIEND: Honey, tell the nice officer what happened.
D’ERRICO: [mumbles] I was looking for my clothes in the dark and I walked into a door.
POLICE OFFICER WHO HAPPENS TO PLAY POKER WITH D’ERRICO’S BOYFRIEND ON WEDNESDAY EVENINGS: Noah’s Ark. Got it, ma’am. Sorry for the misunderstanding. You folks have a nice evening.
Soon to follow headline on People magazine: “Try Donna D’Errico’s new ‘Lip Plumper’ process–THAT DOESN’T REQUIRE SURGERY!”
Let that be a lesson, Donna. God protects his shit with a tire iron.
Noah’s Ark had to tell her twice?
Sorry, I got nothin’ today.
Multiple cuts and bruises? She looks like a drunk who was woken up for a quick picture.
I’m guessing she found it, only to discover that, in addition to playing Noah, Russell Crowe was also reprising his role in Fightin’ Around the World
A year ago this comment thread would be full of Chris Brown jokes. Oh, 2011 was a good year.
Oh yeah, if scientists and professional adventurers have never found Noah’s Ark, I highly doubt Donna Marco will be able to either.
Paging Pebbles… Paging Pebbles, this is BAMBAM. Do you copy?
So who were her fellow explorers, Jackson Browne and Rick James? Either that, or Noah told her he didn’t want no damn mayonnaise on his sammich, and she didn’t listen… I didn’t know the Ark had so many coffee tables and doorknobs on board.
(Ah, biblical literalists. You so crazy. Jesus spoke in parables, why not just assume he picked up the habit from his dad?)
Oh dear, that made laugh for 10 minutes straight. I have tears streaming down my face.
Did the animals escaping the ark trample her?
I am genuinely curious as to what happened to her face.
What injuries? She just looks like a puffy, aging whore.
The internet everybody!