In his continued effort to do literally everything other than finish Detox (rap’s Chinese Democracy), legendary rapper/producer/headphone salesman Dr. Dre has signed on with FX to produce an hour-long crime drama that will “explore present-day Los Angeles through ‘the music business and the crime business.’” There aren’t any details beyond that available yet, but if you think I’m not over here doing the “FX Crime Drama + Rappers + West Coast = Best?” math, you either lost your damn mind or never had it in the first place. Rappers make everything better. EVERYTHING. For example, do you guys follow rappers on Twitter? I can’t recommend it strongly enough. A while back Ghostface went on this totally insane rant about “how to make your girl happy,” and it made my whole year. (Sample tweet: “Y’all go down to the motherf-ckin hotel, they got a bunch of activities y’all can do. Go on boat rides and sh-t, you do all that sh-t.”) The Internet is amazing.
Hold on. Where was I? Oh yeah, Dr. Dre’s music and crime drama. Look, here’s the thing: if anybody would have a garbage truck full of stories to fuel a show like this, it’s Dr. Dre. From starting out with N.W.A. to his time with Death Row to his late ’90s resurgence with Eminem, Dre has been there and done that. I hope he lets fly with some of the juicier tales from his career, and I hope the characters’ names are all changed so microscopically that it leaves no doubt as to who they’re based on. “Listen up 3Pac, you need to stay away from Suge Day. He’s trouble. I heard he and his goons hung Vanilla Steam by his ankles over the balcony of a hotel. Tell him, Snoop Catty Cat.” That would make me so happy I would explode.
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