In his continued effort to do literally everything other than finish Detox (rap’s Chinese Democracy), legendary rapper/producer/headphone salesman Dr. Dre has signed on with FX to produce an hour-long crime drama that will “explore present-day Los Angeles through ‘the music business and the crime business.’” There aren’t any details beyond that available yet, but if you think I’m not over here doing the “FX Crime Drama + Rappers + West Coast = Best?” math, you either lost your damn mind or never had it in the first place. Rappers make everything better. EVERYTHING. For example, do you guys follow rappers on Twitter? I can’t recommend it strongly enough. A while back Ghostface went on this totally insane rant about “how to make your girl happy,” and it made my whole year. (Sample tweet: “Y’all go down to the motherf-ckin hotel, they got a bunch of activities y’all can do. Go on boat rides and sh-t, you do all that sh-t.”) The Internet is amazing.
Hold on. Where was I? Oh yeah, Dr. Dre’s music and crime drama. Look, here’s the thing: if anybody would have a garbage truck full of stories to fuel a show like this, it’s Dr. Dre. From starting out with N.W.A. to his time with Death Row to his late ’90s resurgence with Eminem, Dre has been there and done that. I hope he lets fly with some of the juicier tales from his career, and I hope the characters’ names are all changed so microscopically that it leaves no doubt as to who they’re based on. “Listen up 3Pac, you need to stay away from Suge Day. He’s trouble. I heard he and his goons hung Vanilla Steam by his ankles over the balcony of a hotel. Tell him, Snoop Catty Cat.” That would make me so happy I would explode.
Photo credit: Joe Seer/Shutterstock
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If his headphones are any indication as to what Dre is capable of these days I’m guessing this will be the Mike and Molly of TV shows.
Errr…Mike and Molly of Crime Dramas.
I’ve given up on Detox, but his label damn well better be releasing Kendrick Lamar’s album or I’ll… I’ll bitch about it on the internet a lot.
What’s this about a TV show?
If Detox is not the greatest album ever to grace music, I want a refund.
its never coming out
He should skip right over detox, apologize for how it sucked and release his apology album. It’ll save us all that nagging period of “Why! Why!” we’re doomed to experience.
It’s like if Axel had public said, “I’ve shredded the entirity of Chinese Democaracy and here’s an album I recorded in three weeks.” Woulda been the most rock-n-roll thing he’d ever done.
Too bad Kern Little didn’t live to star in this.
I was thinking the same thing about Nate Dogg. He would have stolen every scene he was in simply by walking into a room and saying “Hold Up.”
We’re not getting Detox. Just accept that now.
Dre is doing a crime drama? Well, I guess Cube already killed his own cred by working with children for the past decade, and Easy E had to pass on account of being dead, though they still tried to get him on board first.