Lauren Conrad Murdered Books And Then Got Rid Of The Evidence

Here are three things I learned today:

• Former Hills star Lauren Conrad has a web series titled Crafty Creations.
• People apparently turn on their laptops and open up the Internet and watch craft videos starring former reality show stars.
• LAUREN CONRAD HATES BOOK AND WANTS TO MURDER THEM ALL AND THEN COVER UP HER HEINOUS ACTS.

Perhaps I should back up. Earlier today Lauren Conrad posted a video on her YouTube channel as part of her aforementioned craft show where she showed people a “great way to display vintage books or slightly used books and also create a unique storage space.” How does one do this, you might ask? Simple. You destroy the books. All of them. Specifically, you cut the spines off of them and glue them to a cardboard box to make it look like you read them. Because CRAFTS. Anyway, once the video got picked up by sites like Buzzfeed, people had a goddamn heart attack about it, saying things like “Holy sh-t I feel like I’m watching some sort of terrible snuff film,” so Conrad quickly pulled it down.

To be honest, I would probably cut her some slack on this one if she weren’t a NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR. If it had been Audrina Patridge in the video staring into the camera with her dead eyes and being all “Um, sometimes I do crafts. I love them. Here’s one where I cut books” I still would have been pretty horrified, but I could have taken a step back and put the whole thing in perspective by remembering that she’s a very sweet girl who likely had no idea what she was doing. But Lauren Conrad has written books. Plural. Like, that people read and everything. She doesn’t get to plead ignorance here, because she should know better.

The whole thing makes me sad.

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