#25. Lyndon B. Johnson
Show: Political ad
Description: Hahaha, Lyndon Johnson won a second term because of his famous “Daisy Girl” ad, which painted his opponent Barry Goldwater as some kind of monster, leading towards the vicious attack ads that are prevalent these days. Did I say, “hahaha”? I meant, “F*CKKKKK YOU.”
#24. Woodrow Wilson
Description: Our 28th president kvetching like Woody Allen because he’s on the $100,000 bill, while Ben Franklin appears on the $100? Now THAT’S comedy.
#23. Theodore Roosevelt
Show: Looney Tunes
Episode: “Ballot Box Bunny”
Description: Yosemite Sam is running for political office to rid the world of wascally wabbits, so Bugs decides to oppose him. Part of his campaign is to impersonate Teddy Roosevelt and “speak softly, but…carry a big stick,” to which Sam responds, “Well, I speak LOUDLY, and I carry a BIGGER stick! And I use it, too!”
#22. William Howard Taft
Show: Family Guy
Description: Peter views an “old time penny show” inside his local porn shop (that’s a thing people have, right?), where he sees a flapper girl doing naughty things — like voting…FOR TAFT. I prefer the peep show of Taft rubbing melted butter over his Chief Justice, but alas.
#21. Warren G. Harding
Show: Boardwalk Empire
Episode: “Hold Me in Paradise”
Description: Heh, Warren G. Harding, the “best of the second-raters,” was an adulterer, as seen on Boardwalk Empire when his mistress and bastard children try to enter a party that he and Nucky Thompson are attending. This in itself isn’t amusing, but I’ve always been fond of this quote: “It’s a good thing I am not a woman. I would always be pregnant. I can’t say no.”
#20. Franklin D. Roosevelt
Show: Robot Chicken
Episode: “That Hurts Me”
Description: For anyone who’s ever thought, “Wait, there are many more things to fear than fear itself, FDR,” you’re right, especially snakes, spiders, dying alone, clowns, etc.
#19. George Washington
Show: Deadliest Warrior
Episode: “George Washington vs. Napoleon Bonaparte”
Description: In 2011, Spike finally answered the question that’s been on everyone’s minds for years: who would win in a fight, George Washington or Napoleon Bonaparte? Washington and his scrappy soldiers were armed with swords, Brown Bess’, and six-pound cannons, while Bonaparte’s well-managed troops were in possession of sabers, Charleville muskets, and eight-pound cannons. The full episode can be found here, but after 5,000 simulated battles, the winner was: GEORGE WASHINGTON. U-S-A-! U-S-A! U-S-A!
#18. Martin Van Buren
Episode: “The Van Buren Boys”
Description: Martin Van Buren “himself” doesn’t appear, but he does have a gang. How can you tell if someone’s a Van Buren Boy, who are “just as mean as he was,” according to Kramer? Hold up eight fingers for the eighth president, which is something I’ve never forgotten since first seeing this episode. It’s as helpful as that “ate and ate, got sick on the floor, eight times eight is sixty-four” trick.
#17. George W. Bush
Show: That’s My Bush
Description: I bet Aaron Sorkin really hates That’s My Bush! There wasn’t nearly enough waxing philosophically about the state of country today, to say nothing of the lack of “hilariously” clumsy women.
#16. John F. Kennedy
Show: The Twilight Zone
Episode: “Profile in Silver”
Description: The Twilight Zone remake that aired from 1985-1989 is a pale impression of the original, but it was delightfully cruel, which is something we can all appreciate. In season one’s “Profile in Silver,” a Harvard professor from the year 2172 travels back in time to 1963, to observe the assassination of his relative, John F. Kennedy. I won’t run the ending, but needless to say, someone done get got.
#15. Dwight D. Eisenhower
Show: The Brak Show
Description: To get viewers excited for the premiere of The Brak Show, Cartoon Network ran a spot-on ad around Election Day that hilariously spoofed Dwight Eisenhower’s catchy “I Like Ad” commercial, right down to the marching elephant. Ike < Brak < Zorak.
#14. James Madison
Episode: “May 3, 2011″
Description: As part of the Fan Corrects series, a Conan watcher sent in a video scalding Mr. O’Brien for saying that Thomas Jefferson wrote the Constitution, a document that was, in fact, penned by James Madison. But Conan digs up some “rare footage” from 1787 that suggests otherwise.
#13. Barack Obama
Show: Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Episode: “April 25, 2012″
Description: Went up five slots because Obama dropped the mic not quite like a boss, but close enough after slow jamming the news with Fallon and the Roots.
#12. Ronald Reagan
Show: The Boondocks
Episode: “The Passion of Reverend Ruckus”
Description: Self-hating black man Uncle “Bring Da” Ruckus has a dream in which he goes to Heaven. But not just any Heaven: White Heaven, where he meets Ronald Reagan, who tells Ruckus the only way he’ll be allowed beyond the pearly white gates is if he preaches the word of White Jesus. Also, if he wouldn’t mind passing out these unsold copies of Rappin’ Ronnie Reagan, that’d be cool, too.
#11. William Henry Harrison
Show: The Simpsons
Episode: “I Love Lisa”
Description: As a member of the “mediocre presidents,” whose faces “you won’t find…on dollars or on cents,” William Henry Harrison proudly boasts, “I died in 30 days!” Which he did.