In Which We Rank The Funniest TV ‘Appearances’ From Every United States President

Next Monday, we’ll be exactly three months away from Election Day. THANK GOD. I don’t even care who wins anymore (note: may not be accurate), I just want the non-stop, largely useless coverage to go away, so we can focus on more important things, like…I dunno, football?

So before every other word that comes out of the Internet’s mouth is “president,” as opposed to every fourth word, which is where we’re at now, and we get sick of talking about middle-aged white guys (and Obama), we’ve put together a list of the funniest TV appearances from every United States president. Obviously, not every president could have been on TV — the whole “technology wasn’t invented yet” thing gets in the way of that — so we included fictional representations of, say, everyone from George Washington to FDR.

Also, with the exceptions of The Simpsons and Futurama, because of course, we decided a TV show can only be represented once. Cue up “Peaches” while scrolling.

#35. Andrew Johnson

Show: The Ordeal of Mr. Mudd
Episode: N/A
Description: This 1980 TV movie is about the farmer whose residence John Wilkes Booth fled to after he killed Abraham Lincoln (spoiler alert!). It’s very forgettable, much like Andrew Johnson himself. I couldn’t even bother looking up a picture of the guy. Think Mr. Mudd is related?

#34. William McKinley

Show: Freaks and Geeks
Episode: All
Description: It’s the name of the school on Freaks and Geeks, The Wonder Years, and Glee. That’s funny-ish?

#33. Andrew Jackson

Show: Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color
Episode: “Davy Crockett Goes to Congress”
Description: I just love the name of the episode. WORST. ERNEST. KNOCKOFF. EVER.

#32. James A. Garfield

Show: Garfield and Friends
Episode: All
Description: Presumably he, too, hated Mondays.

#31. Herbert Hoover

Show: All in the Family
Episode: All
Description: Repeat after me: “And you know who you were then, girls were girls and men were men/Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again…those were the days.” Archie and Edith were nostalgic for the good ol’ days when you could kill a president with DYNAMITE.

#30. James K. Polk

Show: Married…with Children
Episode: “Married…with Prom Queen”
Description: The bad: the name of the school only. The good: THE WHY.

#29. Ulysses S. Grant

Show: The Wild Wild West
Episode: “The Night of the Colonel’s Ghost”
Description: True, he’s no Kevin Kline and there’s no steampunk spider on the original show, but Roy Engel…actually, let’s leave it at that. He’s no Kevin Kline and there’s no stemapunk spider. Wicky-wicky-wicky.

#28. John Adams

Show: Boy Meets World
Episode: Seasons 1-4
Description: OK, I’m already cheating here, but William Daniels, a.k.a Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World, played John Adams in the movie 1776. John Adams was ALSO the name of the school Cory, Eric, etc. attended during high school. Hey, it was either him or Paul Giamatti.

#27. Millard Fillmore

Show: Kia commercial
Episode: N/A
Description: To commentate little-known President Millard Fillmore, Kia ran an “Unheard of” President’s Day sale “with unheard of deals” on a few of their cars. Plus, Millard Fillmore soap-on-a-rope! But Kia executives didn’t find the commercial amusing, and fired members of the marketing team behind it…wait, that’s not funny.

#26. Chester A. Arthur

Show: Futurama
Episode: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”
Description: “Chester A. Arthur fall down…” Classic Arthur.