Country singer and former Touched by An Angel cast member Randy Travis was arrested late last night after, well … let’s just say Randy had a rough night. From The Dallas Morning News:
The Dallas Morning News has confirmed with the sheriff’s office that the singer is being held in the Grayson County Jail. He was found naked by a witness who called 911 about a one-vehicle accident and a man lying in the street, according to several the sheriff’s office.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I don’t know who exactly is in charge of these kinds of things, but I really don’t want the phrase “He was found naked by a witness” said about me. Ever. There is no good situation that involves get “found” naked by “a witness.” Even if you say, like, “He was found naked by a witness laying on top of a giant pile of money and eating a sausage, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel sandwich,” the part about the witness still implies it’s a police matter somehow. I mean, geez, can’t a guy lay naked on some money and eat a breakfast sandwich anymore in this country without getting harassed by the cops? Thanks a lot, Obama.
Well at least we can be sure that things didn’t get any worse for Randy from ther-
When Travis was confronted by the trooper about the strong smell of alcohol, the singer refused a breath test. After a search warrant was issued, a blood sample was taken at a nearby hospital.
Sgt. Rickey Wheeler said Travis has been charged with obstruction and retaliation because he threatened to shoot and kill the troopers who were working the case. His bond for both charges total $21,500.
Hoo boy.
Unrelated: Sgt. Rickey Wheeler … most Dallas name of all time? Discuss.
He was then booked into the county jail and issued a paper suit to wear, according to Wheeler.
So, to recap Randy Travis’ night:
- Crashes car
- Found naked in the street by a stranger
- Threatened to shoot and kill police officers
- Taken to the hospital to forcibly have his blood drawn
- Arrested and taken to jail
- Issued a paper suit to wear, because apparently he was not only naked, but his clothes weren’t even in his car
- Oof
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There were three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway and he took all of ‘em out.
This is one of the most Texas things I’ve read in a very long time.
Peggy Hill was really the one who crashed the car. Travis just pretended he did it so he could get all the attention.
If he had only run over his dog or mother, he’d have a hit record on his hands.
So did he get Doug back home in time for his wedding?
And that will about do it for Randy’s Will Ferrell “Old School” impression.
He must be touring because his last Tuesday night show was in Denton County.
Locked up in a Texas prison?
“Touched by an Angel”? You might also be touched by a Jose and a couple of Diegos.
Your move George Jones.
Discuss.
Juan Garcia would be more fitting nowadays.
He now has enough song material for a double album.
You left out my favorite nugget.
Randy Travis drives (drove) a 98 Trans Am.
My favorite part of the story too.
I want one of those paper suits for Casual Friday.
Dressing up as Randy Travis will be this year’s hot Halloween outfit.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I don’t know who exactly is in charge of these kinds of things, but I really don’t want the phrase “He was found naked by a witness” said about me. Ever.
The only exception I’ll allow is if that phrase is followed by “…in Ms. Brie’s driveway, wearing only a smile which surgeons are still trying to remove from his face.”
You know you’ve hit a whole new level of red-neck when David Allen Coe shakes his head in disgust at your actions.
Wait, so he only got the paper clothes AFTER he was booked and put in jail? So, he was naked the rest of the time? He had his blood drawn…naked? He was fingerprinted…naked? Most importantly, HE WAS IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR NAKED???
Next headline: Randy Travis has Alphabet Hep, Tetanus, and Rubella.
Well, they had to dip “it” in ink and roll it across the pad to get a print. The paper dress is to help contain the extra ink.
That’s the best non-Nolte serial-killer mugshot I’ve seen in a long time.
DID ANYONE REMEMBER TO FEED JAKE?
Just’a good ol’ boy
Never meanin’ no harm.
Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law
Damn, that must of been one lethal Brown Betty.
And of course, many of his recent tours have essentially been Christian Country. Just saying.
“Forever and Ever Amen” is still one of the five decent country songs of the past 30 years though.