American Bible Challenge (Game Show Network, 8 p.m.) — Come for the big-ass Bibles, stay for the big-ass Bibles. Catholic Online calls it “fun and inspiring,” which is the same review they gave Encino Man, so you know they have spectacular taste.
Suits (USA, 10 p.m.) — Finale. It’s the final episode of the summer, so you’ll have to wait awhile before telling people, “No, no, Suits is actually REALLY good” again.
Wilfred (FX, 10 p.m.) — Ryan and Wilfred make a movie together. I hope it’s an Encino Man sequel.
Louie (FX, 10:30 p.m.) — “Louie seeks a lost love and also his daughter.” That is the most Louie description ever. OH MY GOD HE’S LOOKING FOR A WOMAN TO SLEEP WITH HIM and oh yeah his daughter is missing. Future Portlandia star Chloë Sevigny’s in the episode, too, which OK. I look forward to yet another night wasted internally debating whether I find her attractive.
Childrens Hospital/NTSF:SD:SUV:: (Adult Swim, 12 a.m.) — They should really just combine these two shows, and call the resulting super-series Bloody Explosion.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Kathy Griffin and Michael Somerville on Letterman; Kirsten Dunst and the Smashing Pumpkins on Leno; Kyra Sedgwick on Kimmel; and Spike Lee, Mike Birbiglia, and Michael Anthony on Fallon.
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Do You Think Like a 5th Grader was too on the nose?
I sir will not stand for this disparaging of classic early 90s cinema!
I love Encino Man!
Finally “Bombardment of Bible Questions” is a series. Good God, he even LOOKS like Ned Flanders!
Rod Flanders will pwnz if they use the Vulgate of St. Jerome.
Say just one more thing about Encino Man, and I’ll have you flying cargo planes of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong.
All-American Muslim: Sharia Law! Terrorists!!! Forcing their religion on us!
American Bible Challenge: Wholesome fun for the whole family.
I would love American Bible Challenge if they let me pick the questions. What is the proper procedure for ox goring? Whatever happened to those pesky Amalekites?
A disclaimer: I’m a Christian and (try) to read my bible daily, so perhaps I’m a little sensitive about the topic, but I get SO SICK of “Christian” things being hokey. Just because I have Faith doesn’t mean I don’t also have taste and a brain. The second I heard Jeff Foxworthy I was out. I can hear the pitch meeting now: “Hosts for a Bible show? Hmmm, has to be redneck, Southern, seem stupid, appeal to the LCD…is the GitRDun guy available? No? Ooo! What about Jeff Foxworthy?! Done.”
/climbs off soapbox, breathes into paper bag.
I’ll give the show that it is for charity. That’s a good thing. But until this election cycle is over (and hopefully, Christians stop voting for idiots just because they say what they do is to glorify God and do the exact opposite), Christians are going to be looked down upon, especially on the internet, because you can’t control your leaders. That perception of Christians as stupid isn’t going to go away until you can prove that you are not stupid on a national platform by doing something about the more berserk of you.
Not that the rest are any better. So I guess my real advice is turn the other cheek.
Kirsten Dunst and Smashing Pumpkins reminded me of every late night masturbating myself to sleep, and then you had to drag Leno into it.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD and/or TEENAGE YEARS.
Did Brown Bunny help inform your decision about Chloe Sevigny?
It informed me that you could make a terrible, awful film, and still get to have sex.
“Childrens Hospital/NTSF:SD:SUV:: (Adult Swim, 12 a.m.) — They should really just combine these two shows, and call the resulting super-series Bloody Explosion.”
Or instead, they could do the right thing and cancel both of those pieces of shit. I feel my brain dying every time I see an advertisement for them. They are painfully unfunny and AS’ constant insistence on these dumbass live-action shows is emblematic of how far the network has fallen.
I don’t know what it is but I find Chloë Sevigny incredibly attractive.
Make sure to tune-in to the FINALE, next Thursday Oct 18 at 8/7c on GSN!
GSNTV.COM/bible
Facebook: facebook.com/theamericanbiblechallenge