Louie (FX, 10:30 p.m.) — “Louie might get a break” reads the description of tonight’s episode, “Late Show,” which apparently involves Louie waiting in a green room for Tom Cruise to finish blabbing (and Garry Marshall, as played Paul F. Tompkins?). I can say for sure that I attended the taping of an upcoming episode dealing with Louie’s aforementioned “break.” SPOILER ALERT: it was funny. More on that later.
Republican National Convention (TV, TV p.m.) — Mitt Romney accepts the Republican presidential nomination, an event Twitter will have nothing but nice things to say about.
Wilfred (FX, 10 p.m.) — Drug trips involving dogs are the best drug trips. Or so I’ve heard…from a guy…named Stabby Pete. Nice fellow.
The Wonder Years (Hub, 10 p.m.) — If you want to start The Wonder Years by watching the final two episodes of the show, which is the way any good show should be watched, here’s your chance. Bring a dump truck of tissues with you.
Childrens Hospital/NTSF:SD:SUV:: (Cartoon Network, 12 a.m.) — New Girl‘s Schmidt stops by NTSF, probably to take his shirt off and yell at youths.
FOOOOOOTBAAAAALLLLLL: (ESPN, 7 p.m.) — The Old Ball Coach will put down his pitching wedge for a few hours to coach his South Carolina Gamecocks against Vanderbilt in the first college football game of the 2012 season.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Bruce Willis and Brian Regan on Letterman; Savannah Guthrie, Dolph Lundgren, and Hoobastank on Leno; Lisa Kudrow and Marc Maron on Ferguson; Kyra Sedgwick and Mike Birbiglia on Conan; Michael Steele on Stewart; and Jon Huntsman on Colbert.