The second episode of season five of Sons of Anarchy didn’t give us the pit-in-your-stomach revulsion that last week’s gruesome episode gave us, but there was a lot of movement, some of it necessary, and some of it oddly timed. There was a wedding; no one died; and SAMCRO saw the return of a very crucial member. Let’s get to the highlights.
1. Fairytale Romance Is Still Alive — After recognizing the threat that Damon Pope poses to the families of all of SAMCRO, and Jax’s family in particular, Jax proposes to Tara in Nero’s brothel. For no reason other than to ensure that Gemma has something to complain about, they keep the news from everyone until the end of the episode, when they have the wedding in a brothel.
The wedding was sweet (I guess), but I’m not entirely sure what the point of the timing was. Does being married somehow protect Tara and the kids? I would imagine it would pose a bigger threat to them. Does Jax want to make sure that, if he’s shivved in prison, he dies an honest man? Or is this all about intestacy? It’s kind of a weird place in the series to tie the knot UNLESS Kurt Sutter is trying to create a more sympathetic character in Tara before he offs her. Remember, that’s exactly what happened to Rita in Dexter.
One more thing about the wedding: Chibs needs subtitles.
2. Tig’s Daughter Likes It Rough — After losing his daughter, Dawn, to Damon Pope’s immolation, Tig wanted to make damn sure his other daughter, Fawn, didn’t get caught in the Niner/SAMCRO crossfire. Fawn was not pleased with Tig to find out that he was responsible for Dawn’s death, but it’s clear she’s had animosity toward Tig for years, probably because he named her and her sister Dawn and Fawn. Jesus, what was he thinking? Anyway, Tig walked in on Fawn getting the rough stuff from her boyfriend, and because her boyfriend was black, he assumed he was a Niner. I guess Tig forgot we live in a post-Obama America. Thankfully, the boyfriend was forgiving, and decided to get Fawn out of town.
3. Nero Doesn’t Get Out A Lot — Nero took the SAMCRO fellas in to hide them from the cops, and in the process, he and Jax became buddies. Jax clearly likes Nero’s pimping angle, and it turns out, Nero is a pretty nice guy for a pimp. I like this Smits character. A lot. But he does have a dark criminal past, and that sh*t just doesn’t go away. What is Nero’s angle, anyway? Other than to be Gemma’s old man? Something is going on here. I just don’t know what it is yet.
4. Where the Hell is Joel McHale? — We’re on week two of Joel McHale watch. Still no sighting. I don’t think we’ve seen Ashley Tisdale yet, either, but I also doubt I’d recognize her standing next to any other blonde prostitute.
5. Charmed Life, Ain’t It? — Unser survived the home invasion, which apparently will be the C-plot this season. It forges a relationship between him and Eli Roosevelt, gives him some police work to do, and creates a narrative connection between Unser and Clay. Clay’s responsible for the home invasions, right? Are we assuming that at this point?
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I tried to get back into this show, mainly because of this site, but damn it is a really bad show. Terrible. Just like I assumed it would be after I stopped watching in the second season.
It’s better if you watch it drunk.
You say you hate it but care enough to post four different comments on here.
I’ll weigh in on MREJ’s side. Mostly because of the Jax character. He’s just terrible and boring. I’m nowhere near a tough guy but if the leader of a real Motorcycle club acted anywhere like this guy I’d have no issue not respecting or fearing them. I lost it in Season 1 when they went to patch in the gang in Nevada and during the day he’s out writing in his dream diary and not hanging out with the clubs. Nice work Vice Prez Emo McGee
I also said I tried to get back into it.I felt like discussing what I watched…Is that OK to do even if I didn’t like what I watched? You like it? Cool. Never said anyone was wrong for liking it. Also what GGGW said. Charlie Hunnam doesn’t exactly exude badass biker gang leader. Maybe that was why he was cast…so the character can seem like he doesn’t belong in the club..I don’t know, but he always seems like an actor acting a part not someone who is a badass biker naturally
The storyline moves too fast and comes across as silly. And the melodrama is tiresome.
I really need someone to explain the home invasion thing to me. I have no idea what’s going on there except they feel way more white trash than thuggish.
Way to keep it politically correct
one of the home invaders had a prosthetic leg, in case anyone missed that..anyone in the show have a prosthetic leg?
One of the former nomads who is now Samcro. They’re the invaders. I just don’t get why. At all.
To make Jax look weak so Clay can take over.
Yeah, that was basically my idea last week.
Jax is in jail, can’t run the club effectively enough. Clay runs it when Jax is locked up and gains support to remain president when Jax gets out setting up inner club turmoil ONCE AGAIN. All while they have to band together against Pope…
This theory seems legit.
Lobster, it aint matter who said it first, it matters who said it last. I think Bill Shakespeare said that.
I’m actually thinking Clay knows he can’t be President anymore since he can’t ride, and he’s going to end up in Piney’s old role with the club. He sees this coming and doesn’t want it to be that way, so he’s doing things to increase his pull.
With Jax going to jail, Bobby will be acting President and it seems like Clay definitely has Bobby’s ear and may be able to manipulate him from the sidelines.
So are we all just assuming that Unser beat cancer by smoking a lot of weed and retiring?
I mean, he WAS dying of cancer during like the first two seasons…..right?
Am I the only person that is bothered by the fact that no one ever talks about that?
Yeah, that guy just wont die…
I don’t WANT him to die, I actually really love his character. I just think it’s annoying that it has not been dealt with in a more plausible manner.
Maybe it’s in remission? Cancer can do a lot of different things, especially when it would be convenient to the narrative.
Yeah, last I recall was cancer had moved to his bladder and he was blazing up constantly to handle the situation.
yea i dont get why clay would have the new samcro members robbing homes of his crew. maybe it was to make the theft of the safe seem legit? idk
but chibbs???? he needs subtitles throughout the whole show or dont give him too many lines. i fuck wit chibbs one of my favorite characters but last night he had soo many lines i had to turn my tv volume up and still didnt get what he was saying.
this is a a good show but i have to admit i’m gettin tired of the “theres a problem and i need to fix it tara’ or the going to jail montage, or the way gemma is still mad at jax and tara for wat exatcly? its all feeling really recycled.
agreed.
I’ve been watching SOA with the subtitles on since the Belfast season. If it isn’t Chibs’ brogue it’s Clay mumbling or Jax whispering. I’ve never had so much trouble understanding dialog as I do with this show.
Watching Jibs is one the best things about SOA, its like running an obstacle course. You feel so rewarded if you can figure it out and make it through.
Did anybody else get a bit giddy when they mentioned that the Sons would be fugitives? I got a delightful flash of Raylan coming to Charming to track down SAMCRO.
Jimmy Smitts is so great, it’s really going to suck when he turns on the Sons.
Also Fawn has a nice bum.
I really hope he doesn’t actually turn on the Sons.
I don’t doubt there will have to be some dramatic tension, etc. But I hope he doesn’t turn out to be like an actual enemy of the club. Maybe just like an uneasy working relationship.
I love Nero is a way different character than I expected when I hear “Jimmy Smits on SOA”. Hoping they keep throwing us curveballs with him.
He seems a bit to eager to please, maybe it’s just Sutters writing but he seems too nice.
Helping the club without and sense of reward, the handicapped son, it all seems too good to be true. Like he’s making a play for the club and he also crippled his kid with a baseball bat.
Also did anyone notice a bit of a similarity between Jax and Nero and Dexter and Miguel. I don’t know just something I caught last night.
He’s going to side with Pope to save his business, then at the last dramatic moment he’ll turn and shoot Pope’s #1 henchman, but get shot in the process. Dying in Jax’s arms he’ll tell Jemma he loves her, they’ll give him an honorary patch, or some stupid, predictable shit like that, which will 100% happen.
I really hate that @Leapin_Lizards might be correct.
I hope sutter doesn’t go that route
@dRall since you mentioned the similarity between Jax and Nero and Dexter and Miguel you have destroyed my fourth (or fifth) wall
BRO-WALK
The walk of a bro!
I hate Jax’s bro walk so hard.
But he bro walks so hard!
my own walk is decidedly less bro than that.
That’s what happens when you hire a British dude to play an American Biker.
You know every high school soccer and lacrosse player are working on mastering the Jax bro-walk
I hate that he is the only one in the club that wears FUCKING TENNIS SHOES ALL THE TIME. Your in a motorcycle club. BUY A PAIR OF FUCKING MOTORCYCLE BOOTS ASSHOLE!.
Nah, man, Air Force 1s are cool.
This bothers me way more than his stupid nostrils.
Dude, just chill out, take a quick bro walk around the block.
He actually commented on the sneakers before, saying alot of bikers he met when prepping for the role wore sneakers because boots were too rigid. He was correct too. Alot of guys dont wear boots. MAybe not pristine white tennis sneakers but, yeah not all wear boots.
I watched the first season when it came out, but damn I just cannot get into this show for some reason.
Definitely needs more Chiklis.
Leapin_Lizards, I like the gut of your Chibbs.
The main characters on this show are immortal. I’m just waiting for Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery to show up to teach Clay, Unser, Juice, and Tara about the quickening.
Possible theory on the safe-snatch (alternate name – purloined papers): The birth certificates have Clay Morrow, not John Teller as the father of one if not both Teller children and John either never paid attention (Too caught up in Irish pussy or just out of his mind high/drunk all the time), just didn’t care, or that was the real ultimate reason for his death. Again, a stupid theory, but not too far-fetched considering the other directions this show has gone.
but then wouldn’t he have destroyed them last season, along with the papers? Why would he hold on to them, and they never mention them? Oh right, because Sutter can’t write. Good call.
To be fair, I’m pretty sure Sutter was born retarded.
I think Tara and Jax got married to prevent her from ever having to testify against him.
Also….Was Tig calling Fawn “Fawnzie” when he was shouting into the house?
Either the testify thing, or the jail he’s going to is strict about conjugal visits and requires an actual marriage license.
Tara is going to donate all the land Jax owns to a church…
I WANT MY JOEL MCHALE..
IT’S MY JOEL MCHALE AND I WANT IT NOW!
I got about halfway through the ep and was like, I gotta know if Joel McHale is showing up and then I checked imdb and they said he was in the ep. When he wasn’t I was all like nooooo, damn you imdb!
woot sons is on fiyaaaaa
I love playing count the Lost and Deadwood alums with this show.
Tonight I counted 3 Lost alums, 1 Deadwood, 1 from both. Slow week for this game, actually.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!
besides waaaaalt who were the other lost alums?
2 Deadwood alums I think, pretty sure their lawyer is still Calamity Jane. Hard to tell though with her being all sober and womanly.
“I tried to get back into this show, mainly because of this site, but damn it is a really bad show. Terrible. Just like I assumed it would be after I stopped watching in the second season.”
You sir are a liar.
No, I am really not. I started watching this season because while I am busy not paying attention in my college classes I read uproxx sites and like to know what the fuck is going on sometimes. That’s the honest truth. Also what else is there to watch on Tuesdays?
mrejr8234 — You can always watch “Parenthood.” If you’re a pussy. (Note: I love “Parenthood.”)
WHATTA PUSSY! /BRO WALKS AWAY
Tara should die. I’m also good with them killing off any of the major club members with the exception of Chibbs and Opie if it will shake things up a bit more. I’m with J B in that it seems like none of the real members can die.
Two other notes.:
First: This season has been pretty much Juiceless so far. WTF.
Second: Why the fuck is Chuck Zito on the show now? He can’t act and he looks fucking retarded with that facial hair.
Zito had some kind of beef with Sutter, and the acting spot was the truce.
They win, we lose.
Didn’t Half-Sack have a problem with Sutter, too? What a sacrifice, I loved that guy.
Half-Sack was so much better than the other prospects they brought in after he died.
I feel like all the prospects they bring in are terrible just so no one gives a fuck when they get killed off.
RIP Half-sack
I think Half-Sack actually asked to be written out for some reason. Maybe it was a beef, I don’t know.
Hey, that fat, bearded guy is pretty cool, and unlike Half-Sack, he even survived long enough to get patched in! Yay Beardly!
Fucking Opie has to get less emo too. Hopefully this week was the beginning of that. Some peeps gotta die this year. Juice was a cop out last year.
@Bob
The Prospects are the Sutter equivalent of Star Trek’s Red Shirts. They are there for one reason…to die…(maniacal laugh)
aaameeen
One last thing. Pope has a pimped office with a pimped desk.
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who was watching a show about badass outlaws and thought “oh, what a lovely desk!”
It’s true! I was admiring that desk myself.
Anyone else assume that judge was getting blown as he performed the ceremony?
That’s what I was thinking. Either that, or he was going to yell at Jax to hurry up and put the damn ring on Tara’s finger, everyone’s getting charged by the hour here!
There should be a feature of people doing their best bro walk in this recap…10 second videos…
Everything else on this episode became irrelevant to me when Opie showed up in his cut. Opie’s back and that’s all that matters. I never noticed Jax’s weird walk or nostril flares until now, but I’m sure I’ll be haunted by both now that they’ve been pointed out. Thanks guys.
i can pretty much agree with everything you just wrote, thanks ^^
thirdsies.
I love sons. I’d like to know what plan b is
it’s what I actually use as “plan a”
just slip it into the chicks coffee in the morning, and everything is A-OK
Ok I am digging this Jimmy Smits. At first I was thinking he is supposed to be a “positive” influence on being a smart criminal, but I think the car chase was a set up to gain trust.
Was it Smits waving the car to drive left into the garbage cans that gave it away?
@ironbuddha
i missed that. someone gif me.
He’ll need Jax down the road…he’s not completely innocent but I don’t think he’s a piece of shit either.
The home invasion angle is an odd one… not quite sure where that is going to go. Sure it makes it look like Jax can’t keep Charming safe etc, but the documents hold some level of importance…
I agree with you guys… Unser should probably have died from his cancer by now. I do enjoy his character, but he went from sheriff, to feeble dying guy, to private dick who isn’t feeble… or dying.
Nero is a cool character… I am not a big Smits fan as I really never buy into roles. Didn’t really care for him on Dexter, but this one is different. So far so good… plus when they Mexican him up and have him speaking Spanish, he always repeats the line 2 seconds later in English. That is helpful — it keeps me from trying to download the part of my brain that struggled through 4 years of Spanish in high school.
Clearly Fawn didn’t just like it rough, but she was playing out some kind of rape fantasy… was screaming “Stooooop! Noooo!”
I can’t wait for Tara to die… she is one of the most annoying characters on TV. Not to the level of Lori on TWD, but close.
Love that Op is back… “Was that you becoming me?” “How’d I do?”
Episode two was never going to be able to live up to episode one… I am sure it will be good from here on out…
Going to be interesting when and if Romeo turns on Jax. That seems to be on the horizon…
and
WHERE THE F IS ALVAREZ!
As a theory on who’ll die: Tara’s not gonna die. If Sutter keeps with the Hamlet roots, Ophelia’s the one that kills herself, and Opie shares her name. So OFFICIAL FAN THEORY: Damon Pope finds Opie’s kids checking out his ex-wife. Opie either comes out of the big house to find his family killed and offs himself, or he finds out in prison and kills himself. Either way, I’m betting Opie goes down before Tara does. That dude’s taken a LOT more shit over the course of the series, so Sutter’s clearly pushing for a character turnaround with Op.
Is it me or is Tara slowly starting to look more and more like Gemma?
This show would be well served by getting back to it’s simple Hamlet theme. It’s getting bloated with too many characters and parallel plot lines.
I think the nomads are in cahoots with little Thomas Wayne Teller, and he’s going to rise from the dead (notice the birth cert from safe) and give Jax a run for his money for control of the club. Daddy might come back too. . . Jax finds out he’s not really Tellers son. TW might be the rightful ‘heir’. Didn’t really get / confused by the whole baby smuggling thing a while back and didn’t really understand how it fit, so maybe TW was taken / adopted out instead of dead and he just found out who his real family is.
The wedding was pretty nuts, I’d like to see what their relationship looks like in a few episodes.
She takes it rough….