We learned how to cook all the bacon and eggs we have:
TripSmick: Best way to cook Bacon and Eggs?
Nick Offerman: In an iron skillet, over a fire of oak at your cabin.
We learned about Nick Offerman’s manly morning routine:
sloaney: You are one of the manliest men of whom I have ever heard. What is your morning routine that begins a day of badassery?
Also, what is your favorite outdoor activity?
Nick Offerman: I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon.
I love to paddle my own canoe, and also wife. Best while staring at the leaves of the maple or sycamore.
We learned how Nick Offerman and Ron Swanson differ:
cokobunner: I know you and your character have a lot things in common, in what ways are you drastically different from Ron? (if any)
Nick Offerman: I wouldn’t call it drastic, but my penis is 5/8″ larger than Ron’s, in both length AND breadth, but it is held that he wields his with greater aplomb.
[Editorial Note: This is no surprise, as it is quite large (NSFW).]
The_Flabbergaster: I’ve heard Ron Swanson described as a PG version of Nick Offerman. However, I’m not sure how accurate that can be if RS’s moustache rubbed off “from friction.”
Nick Offerman: I think it’s accurate, relatively speaking, for I once rubbed my own moustache off from sidling up to a Tom Sizemore lit fart. While urinating on an Amy Grant cassette.
heycheeahs: Are your political stances similar to Ron Swanson?
Nick Offerman: Well, I just went to discuss this question with Ron, and I found him staring stoically into a fire in which burned his VHS collection of Dirty Harry movies whilst he seemed to be mumbling the words to the Beastie’s High Plains Drifter, and welling up. I would not have expected Ron to be aware of Paul’s Boutique, I guess that seminal record really penetrated the generations. Anyway, I left him to his thoughts.
Ron-Swanson: Hey. How do you feel about religion?
Nick Offerman: Find your own.
We learned about the virility of Offerman’s moustache:
Son_of_Kong: Nick, I’m a great admirer of your moustache. Since I assume it’s all natural, what do you do in episodes where part of it needs to be burned off (Lil’ Sebastian’s funeral is on TV now) or removed for some reason? Do you actually have to mangle it and wait for it to grow back before you shoot another episode, or is there some kind of makeup trick to get that effect while still preserving the moustache’s integrity?
Nick Offerman: My moustache grows with such rampant, perpetual virility, that we need to trim it 3 or 4 times a day during filming. It was cool at first (grade school), but to be honest, it’s getting old.
We learned he adores his wife, Megan Mullally:
nsaucdiv151: Your wife is one of my favorite sitcom actresses, and I believe you guys met when Will and Grace was only a season or two in (correct me if I’m wrong). What was it like watching her show take off and seeing her become a well known TV personality in the early years of your relationship?
Nick Offerman: I met Megan right after season 2 of W&G, doing a play at The Evidence Room Theater in LA. It was immediately apparent that I was countenancing the premiere comic talent of our age. My wife is so funny and beautiful and sings like a goddamn angel bird pixie queen, that watching her career take off, and standing by her side as she received accolades all made a lot of sense to me, and has just continually served to remind me what a lucky bastard I am. I look forward to many more years of reminders.
We learned more about his homelife with Mullally:
CalamityJane1852: What’s a typical evening at home like with Megan?
Nick Offerman: Oh, gosh. Well, we get dressed up as Marx Brothers (she’s always Groucho or Harpo, and I’m Chico…whatever, she made the outfits.) and we get sauced on Gin and goofballs and run around the yard, sometimes with a lot of horn-honking, and then I set up the target rings at which Megan fires ping-pong balls and sometimes racquet balls from her vagina, often racking up an impressive tally of points (she got a 420 last night!), while I assemble my black powder muzzle-loader collection and fire lead balls at our neighbor, Charlie Sheen’s secret wife’s mom’s jungle cats (I miss on purpose, I’m not a dick.) Normal Hollywood shit.
bezaorj: I want the drugs you are taking.
ooo0ooo: He is drugs.
Vault-tecPR: Drugs take Ron Swanson when they want to get high.
FuzzyGunNuts: I’m almost certain that drugs take Nick Offerman to relax.
We learned that Nick Offerman will answer however he pleases and you will like it:
retinarow: What’s your favorite thing about each of the cast members of Parks and Rec? Do you worry that you’re going to be defined by this role for some time?
Nick Offerman: Ahem. I’m given to understand that Mr. Knight did not like to be portrayed as an angry, screaming basketball coach, especially in an Indiana sweater. One might ask, “What else do you think you are known for, Mr. Knight?”, but then one might get a knuckle sandwich across the chops, so maybe one should just keep such notions to oneself. It was sad for a moment, as he so encapsulated Ron’s attitude towards his govt. job, but Mike Schur, P&R creator and captain, made some delicious lemonade when he replaced Bobby K with a brunette holding (boner commencing) a plate of breakfast.
Nick Offerman: I swear to Christ there was a question about “what happened to that picture of Bobby Knight in Ron’s office?”. Where did it go?!?!? What the f-ck are you trying to do to me, Reddit?!?! You’re not the one. Can you see me right now?