If you watched America’s Got Talent this summer, you no doubt fell in love with America’s newest sweetheart, Horse, whose entire talent — and I swear I am not making up, which is why I posted that banner pic as proof — was getting drilled hecka hard in the nuts with stuff. We briefly discussed this debonair man-about-town back in June, but I feel like I should take a minute to update you on the life and times of Horse: He didn’t win America’s Got Talent, and he recently broke a bunch of ribs and pooped his pants. EVERYTHING’S COMING UP HORSE.
According to TMZ (naturally), the testicle mutilation aficionado was doing a stunt where he was “supposed to jump from a two-story roof and land crotch-first on a wooden plank” (again, naturally), but he accidentally landed on a bucket of cement that was supporting the plank, and the force broke his ribs and caused his bowels to empty into his drawers. Nooooooooooooooooo thank you.
Look at the bright side: at least he didn’t subject himself to dozens of violent sack assaults in front of millions of people only to lose a talent contest to a dog that can do flips. Oh, wait…
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MIKE JUDGE WUZ RIGHT
brilliant
jeebus, that movie is prophecy
Horse was a one trick pony….
I actually found him amusing the first two times he performed, but quickly lost interest in him after his extreme pouting following his super hero routine…
…the testicle mutilation aficionado was doing a stunt where he was “supposed to jump from a two-story roof and land crotch-first on a wooden plank”…
That is literally the same exact plot of “Ow! My Balls!”
Yeah that’s what I was telling people. The first time I saw him I was like Homer after watching “Man Getting Hit By Football” (“Give that man the ten thousand dollars!”), but then quickly realized Idiocracy was coming true
He didn’t win?
Demolishing your balls for fame and glory is a harsh mistress. Also, I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure he jizzed in his pants during that AGT bit.
Luckily he didn’t hit his head…….that could have caused him to become a freakin’ idiot….
oh wait…
“Everything’s Coming Up Horse” sounds like a show in Tijuana.
But but but Simpsons taught me EVERYONE loves guys getting hit in the nuts. Wait a minute homie didn’t use a football.
The hell does he say at the beginning of that. Is he comparing himself to a Pokemon?
Would you rather be him…or a replacement referee?