
Nick Lachey and his wife, former MTV VJ Vanessa Minnilo, had a son last night, who they named Camden John. Upon hearing the news, Kristin Cavallari (Lachey’s ex) tweeted “Apparently Camden is a popular name!” because she and her fiance, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, had a baby a few weeks ago who they named Camden Jack. This is hilarious, because “Camden John” and “Camden Jack” sound like the names of two-bit mobsters who settled in New Jersey after they couldn’t cut it in Philadelphia or New York. Anyway, Cavallari followed up her initial tweet with a clarification, saying “By the way that wasn’t a bitchy tweet at all. I obviously love the name and I’m glad other people do too,” which was totally unnecessary because the only people who have any right to be angry about anything in this situation are the poor babies who are stuck with the name Camden.
Have any of you been to Camden? I’ll answer that for you: No, you have not been to Camden. Camden is a dump. I have lived in the greater Philadelphia area for a fair chunk of my life, directly across the river from Camden, and I have been there exactly three times: once when I went to Adventure Aquarium, once when I saw a concert in their outdoor music venue, and once when I got incredibly lost trying to get to Cherry Hill. Those are the three times I went to Camden because those are literally the only reasons to go to Camden. Naming your baby Camden is like naming your baby … well, like naming your baby Camden. I can’t think of a better analogy. Taco Bell, maybe?
Listen here, parents: You are free to name your child after any city or location you please, but for the love of God visit that place first. It’s the least you can do. I mean … Paris? Fine. Brooklyn? Sure, I guess. But Camden? CAMDEN? That’s practically child abuse.
Thank you for your time.
Photo credit: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com



STAY OUT OF IT, NICK LACHEY.
Did you know Nick Lachey is 38? I was blown away when I saw that in the story.
Whaaaaat? I mean, it makes sense you think back to when 98 Degrees was big, but it still makes me feel old.
Maybe he’s an Orioles fan?
Camden is a pretty lame name, but not quite as bad as Dakota. Either way, you’d do just as well name your kid Ossweepay(spelled:Asswipe).
Maybe he’s a fan of sprawling urban decay and crime?
Cabrini Green Cutler > Camden John Lachey.
Cabrini has a nice ring to it.
Over at KSK we agreed that “Camden Jack” would be a good name for any of the following professions:
1. Treasure Hunter
2. Poker Player
3. Smuggler
Camden Jack sounds like the secret ingredient Taco Bell puts in the Gordita.
maybe both couples are just big fans of Cam Gigandet
What about “Soda?”
I went to that aquarium in like third grade and thought it was amazing, only to later learn it was basically in a war zone. What the hell were my teachers thinking?
I love how they put nice things in Camden to essentially try to make people think it isn’t a scummy war zone.
I’ve been to Camden one time ever in 1998 to go to one of those Y100 “Fez-Tivals” with a bunch of college friends. It was a miserable, crowded, smelly, awful day and I didn’t even get to see the murdery parts of Camden. My only fond memory of the day was my roommate at the time jumping out of her boyfriend’s pick up on the slow trudge caravaning out of the complex at the end of the day to run halfway across the parking lot to purchase a nitrous-filled balloon only to have it pop in her stupid face when she got back to the truck.
I’m kind of shocked that he didn’t name the kid Great American Ballpark. Some Reds fan he turned out to be.
Real talk: What’s with dipshit parents naming their kid Kason or Kayden. Those are really stupid names.
My grandma’s name was Camden. I always thought man Cams were short for Cameron, or Cam’ron.
I´ve been to london´s camden, it has a nice market.
[en.wikipedia.org]
I live about 20 minutes from Camden and I’ve been there a few times (for the aquarium, concerts, etc) but someone once told me that if you’re stuck at a red light and you don’t feel safe, you’re allowed to run it there. Without consequence. Doesn’t make me feel any safer.
Pretty much. This also applies to nearby Chester, PA..
Isn’t Camden Jack Kangaroo Jack’s brother?
Named after the best MLB Stadium
Lachey/Manillo hot-tub fucking pictures or GTFO
Camden’s a pussy name for a pussy boy bander. Justin Timberlake (if he acknowledges the kid) is going to name his son Black Dynamite Timberlake – not Black Dynamite Beal-Timberlake, but Black Dynamite Timberlake.
A. My son is named Camden. I named him that before all these famous people thought they liked it. If you hate on my kid and his name, you’re probably “wicked cool, bro.”
B. There are more places called Camden than Camden, NJ…like Camden Town, London, England. Or Camden, Maine, which includes a quaint Main Street downtown, a sweet little B&B, a beautiful harbor, and a historic lighthouse. Any self respecting New Englander(which I am) wouldn’t give two shits about some crappy town in Jersey.
So before you trash on the name Camden, do your research. Thank you.
We’re sorry, Erin. Thank you for showing us the error of our ways. We promise we’ll do better the next time a celebrity gives their kid a ridiculous name.
Hahaha like, oh idk…Blue Ivy? Or is it Blu Ivy…(who cares, am I right)? But hey, if you really don’t like the name, at least we didn’t name our kids after a Twilight character…
In the United States there are SEVENTEEN towns with the name Camden. I dare to assume that most if not all of the individuals living in these towns are proud of them, and that includes Camden NJ. As for naming a child, it is the parents, prerogative, not yours or mine.