Nothing matters. We’re all just meaningless collections of molecules with no purpose in the grand scheme of things. If we never existed, the world would be exactly the same as it is now, except better because we wouldn’t haven’t been born. I’m sorry, folks, but I’m in a grumpy mood because last night, I learned that love is a lie.
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are separating after nine years of marriage, Us Weekly has learned exclusively. “It’s very amicable,” a source says. The couple’s rep confirms the separation to Us.
The couple, who wed on August 29, 2003, are parents to sons Archie, 3, and Abel, 2. SNL alum Poehler, 40, and Up All Night actor Arnett, 42, have frequently appeared onscreen together. (Via)
And THAT’S why you always…run away from this thing called “love” because it’ll only end in heartbreak. Sigh. It also leaves a gaping vacancy for the best real-life TV couple. Y’know, the kind of celebrity couple who’d totally be friends with you, if only they gave you a shot. You’d play some Bananagrams, drink some brewskis, throw rocks at the paparazzi outside your window, have a grand ol’ time. Here are a few suggestions for the newest Poehnett? Aroehler? But first, a now-sad GIF.
Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer?
Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof?
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard? (haha, no)
Kaitlin Olson and Rob McElhenney?
Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman?
Lauren Graham and Peter Krause?
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi?
The correct answer, as ever, is Bronson Pinchot and whoever Bronson Pinchot is dating.
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![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/poehler-150x150.png)
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![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/gob-jesus-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/cbss-the-millers-with-will-arnett-and-margo-martindale-150x150.jpg)
What?? NO!! how the hell did this happen? A game of The Dozens that spiraled out of control?
Mullofferman 2012.
Yep. They are the best now.
By a landslide.
They were totally the best prior to this, anyway. NOT TAKING ANYTHING AWAY FROM WILL AND AMY THOUGH,
Concur.
Yeah, what Junker said.
YOU TASTE THESE TEARS, INTERNET.
This is the only acceptable response right now and for the next month.
so approriate for this sad, sad occasion.
This is the one.
I once heard Amy Poehler on NPR talk about how she and Will like to stay at home and watch themselves on TV and I thought that sounds like the basis for healthy normal relationship.
Yea listening to NPR has to cut down on your chances for any relationship.
Yeah, acurate news is for loooooosssseeeerrrrrsssss.
Got that right!
I’d also throw Chris Pratt and Anna Farris into the mix. But yeah, if Mullofferman breaks up, then I will completely lose my shit.
+1 for Pratt and Farris. Though Farris hasn’t made anything that watchable in some time, she’s still talented and likeable.
Every time I see Dax Shepard with Kristen Bell, I just want to punch something.
I had Conan recorded for the past week… and everytime i tried to sit down and watch the episode with Kristen Bell, I just couldnt bring myself to do it….
moral of the story, Dax RUINS EVERYTHING.
maybe punch Dax Shepard?
This is not a fun start to a Fun Friday! *sobs hysterically*
Oh what the fuck? Where is Tobias Funke’s 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution when you need them? Get this couple some Teamocil stat.
*separated. yeah, i’m that guy.
Their separation has hindered my ability to read.
In order: Too creepy, too last decade, too who the fuck is called Dax?, too who the hell are they?, too awesome, too embarrassing to admit I watched Gilmore Girls, and why the hell not?
But still, there can be no true replacement.
“too who the hell are they?”
Sweet Dee and Mac from It’s Always Sunny, of course.
Okay, in my defence that’s never been broadcast in Britain.
I assume denying us such things is your way of paying us back for Simon Cowell.
If Warming Glow had Comments of the Week “I assume denying us such things is your way of paying us back for Simon Cowell” would be nominated
If we are talking annoying Brits, Russell Brand is so much worse than Simon Cowell
I never expected that a sunny September morning could bring tragic news that would forever echo in the heart of a now somber and joyless America.
Never forget.
noooooo!!! whyyyyy!!!!???? worst day ever.
also….. Lauren Graham is dating her onscreen brother. I’m oddly turned on by the Braverman incest gonig on
As someone who watched way too much Sports Night and Gilmore Girls I am happy. And can only assume they can contain an entire years worth of conversations in a week.
Ok I’ll say it…
I am not super surprised at this news. Amy’s star is on the rise while Will appears to be destined to live in the huge shadow of Gob Bluth. If I had to guess, I would say a little envy played a role in the breakup.
that… and the sex with the maid probably didn’t help.
Didn’t CDAN predict this 6 months ago? They’ve been falling out for quite some time.
I was under the impression that Glenn Howerton was Kaitlin Olsen’s husband. It made Sunny that much more uncomfortable to watch.
Although, now that I think about it, Parenthood just got a lot creepier.
Olson is not aging well.
Olson almost never looks good in real life pictures…as Sweet Dee though, wooo
Marc Duplas and Katie Aselton could be contenders if they’d stop making super-shitty mumblecore films and stick to fighting for the Shiva.
Agreed X 1000
Love is bullshit!
*Runs away crying.
There, there big guy.
You want a soda? Hmm?
Yeah, maybe a rootbeer float?
My God do root beer floats own. I have been having a 64oz one every Sunday for the past two months or so.
Surprised no one’s said it yet…..
AWWW, C’MON!!!!
I’m pretty sure TV’s best power couple would now have to be the parents from Webster, if they’re still together.
Alec Karras (77) and Susan Clark (72) are indeed still married.
I guess teir happy marriage was all just… AN ILLUSION.
First crippling eye pain, and now I’m missing an “h”?
Today just isn’t going my way.
This is clearly the work of Hermano.
If it turns out Amy has been seeing someone named Michael, the internet will explode.
… MICHAEL.
don’t forget about that other IASIP pair…Charlie and the Waitress.
Please get an editor.
This is fucking awful. I hope they get back together. The only worse news I can imagine is Kate Upton dating LeBron James. I would even let Allison Brie date Ashton Kutcher to make make these two get back together.
Katie Aselton and Mark Duplass
hearing this news yesterday. there was TEARS. lots of them. love is a cruel mistress.
Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde would also be a good runner-up, even though neither of them are regulars on TV anymore.
What about Taran Killam and Cobie Smulders?