Nothing matters. We’re all just meaningless collections of molecules with no purpose in the grand scheme of things. If we never existed, the world would be exactly the same as it is now, except better because we wouldn’t haven’t been born. I’m sorry, folks, but I’m in a grumpy mood because last night, I learned that love is a lie.
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are separating after nine years of marriage, Us Weekly has learned exclusively. “It’s very amicable,” a source says. The couple’s rep confirms the separation to Us.
The couple, who wed on August 29, 2003, are parents to sons Archie, 3, and Abel, 2. SNL alum Poehler, 40, and Up All Night actor Arnett, 42, have frequently appeared onscreen together. (Via)
And THAT’S why you always…run away from this thing called “love” because it’ll only end in heartbreak. Sigh. It also leaves a gaping vacancy for the best real-life TV couple. Y’know, the kind of celebrity couple who’d totally be friends with you, if only they gave you a shot. You’d play some Bananagrams, drink some brewskis, throw rocks at the paparazzi outside your window, have a grand ol’ time. Here are a few suggestions for the newest Poehnett? Aroehler? But first, a now-sad GIF.
Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer?
Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof?
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard? (haha, no)
Kaitlin Olson and Rob McElhenney?
Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman?
Lauren Graham and Peter Krause?
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi?
The correct answer, as ever, is Bronson Pinchot and whoever Bronson Pinchot is dating.